YAY legend of zelda OoT fic

I love this stoy, so far, youve done an exalent job! Youre an amazing author! ::biggrin::

This is the best zelda story i have ever seen
and owning a zelda webpage i have seen a lot
i printed this story out and read it in only one night it is very good and tells it like it is
ill give refrence to tell people to read this on my zelda site because storys like these need to be read please keep up the good work
Fairforest

One more comment, for the whole story in general, but most noticeably in chapter 1 (for some reason wont let me put my comment on chapter 1, so im putting it on ch2 instead, in case you care...)

Names. Your names are very inconsistent. Nosan, Norsan, Lara, Lora, among others. Because they;re so similar, it's pretty clear that Nosan and Norsan are the same person, but it's just a wee bit frustrating not knowing which is right.

Also, Twinorva is actually Twinrova, the dragon in the Fire Temple is Volvagia, and the amoeba in the Water Temple is called Morpha. Oh! And Phantom Ganon starts out looking exactly like Ganondorf before removing the Ganondorf mask, but I think that might have been an artistic liberty on your part.

And I love your Ganondorf fight.

The idea is good, not just a straight transcript of the game. Very interesting. There are some... "creative" grammatical structures that make the story kind of difficult to follow, especially where you introduce two quotations in one paragraph while leaving out the beginning quotes for the second quote. For instance, something like:

"It would probably be a good idea to go fishing." Said Link. By the way, bread is a really good bait." Said Zelda.

Until you see the second quote mark, it's not clear that "By the way..." is being said by anyone other than the narrator. Also, you left out a lot of periods and put commas in interesting places, often where periods should have gone, again making it a bit difficult to follow and making me have to go over some paragraphs two or three times in order to understand what you were saying.

Despite the grammar, I found the plot fascinating. I loved the little creative parts (especially the whole thing with Link's father and Ganondorf's mother) that made the story just that much your own without contradicting Miyamoto's story. So overall, fix the grammar and it's a great story.

Amazing work. It's inspired me a bit for my own fanfiction.Thank you for writing this!

that was beautiful a tribute to zelda that certainly was

you're a good storyteller

Interesting start, i'll read the rest later when i have more time. However would it be ok for you to read my Zelda Story The War Of Time and tell me what you think?
Thanks again and keep it up
DR

Your one my fav authors so far. yeah for reals, it takes guts to novelize zelda into a story, especially as great as Ocarina of Time. WEll YOU HAVE ME HOOKED. i'm reading all your chapters right now. impressive. well i hope there's more. LINK RULEZ. LONG LIVE THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: OCARINA OF TIME!

Its an awsome story.

I think you should do other Zelda adaptations.

Overall, the story was good, but there were some serious grammar issues.

The use of the word "his". "His" is used to show possession, such as "His slingshot fell down the hole." But in your story, you almost always used "his" in place of "he's", which is a contraction for "he is" such as "He's a Hylian.

The rule for use of proper punctuation in a quote was also largely ignored. For example:

" 'You better or your blind.' Said Navi."

In this context, there should be a comma after blind, because you specifically said that Navi spoke those words. But if it had been:

" 'You better or you are blind.' Navi bobbed. "

then you would use a period becuase Navi is not doing any action that indicates that she is speaking.

Another irritating thing is the confusion of the words "your" and "you're". This is a common problem found in most writers, so don't be discouraged. The term "your" indicates possession, such as "That's your slingshot.". The term "you're" is a contraction for "you are", as in "You're a Hylian."

Whenever someone starts speaking, you MUST start with a brand new paragraph. It may seem stupid, but that's how a reader tell the difference between what character A is speaking and what character B is speaking.

Also, in some parts when a character is thinking, you wrote something like this:

" 'A WHAT?' Link yelled out of shock, that can't be right he thought. "

There should be a comma after the word "right" because you are showing that Link has ended his thought. Here, it is okay to use the question mark, because you are putting more emphasis on the statement, but the all capital letters could be done away with. Instead of using a boring verb (yelled), try more creative ones such as "bellowed", "bawled", "screamed", etc.

Now that I've taken some of the grammar issues, let's get to the storyline issues.

There are parts where Link is speaking, but he answers his own questions. That confuses the readers. Beta-edit before posting to avoid these embarrasing mistakes.

You mentioned that there were four goddesses, but you only named three.

The storyline, otherwise, is very well done. I can tell that you worked very ** this fan fic. Great job.

that was a really good novelization!

Wow. That story/ novelization was the best thing i've ever read! please write more novelizations of zelda games!

And the story ends. This one of the heartbreaking chapters I've ever read. Of course though, I see wonderful potental. I think you're a natural born writer, unlike myself. Great story, please keep on writing. I admire your talent and pieces.