Splendiferous work! I do look forward to more, should you ever get around to writing and uploading it.

So, is there any hope of ever seeing how this story continues? Pretty please?
I'm only asking because, even now, it'd be worth the wait. The cast is pretty much IC, and the added characterization's appropriate (Maria is probably better than the original), the descriptions are good, and the story's differential - trying to apply anthropology to a video game universe - makes for some very interesting reading.

I keep meaning to do a longer review, but keep getting sidetracked. I love this story and feel that your version of Maria is quite true to the game.

I did feel that some of Nel's scenes were a bit repetative, with re-hashes of information we'd already been given. The scene just outside the throne room, was a repeat of the realtionship information we'd already been given. The bed scene with Claire had a little of the same, but less. That is an interesting take on their relationship though, and I like it.

Its been a long time, i've only just finally gotten around to reading it.

Kinda at a loss for words really...

Well, sitting here for over an hour, reading this, going back to the world of SO3... Its extremely therapeutic. I dunno if thats the right word, but it'll do. It can be awesome to take time out and just escape. No you dont get a detailed story of what im currently living through, you just get a review that simply and kindly says:

Keep writing.

Wonderfull! I am enamoured with this story, it is very well done. Maria and Nel are extremely well-characterized. I do like how you've handeled the Nel/Clair dynamic and I am glad you included it in this.
I'm not sure if I like how spelled out the prophesy was or the immediate acceptance, but I believe you will find a way to make it work.

I like it. I was always one for the long-winded stories, even though they do annoy some of my colleagues. And the one-sided relationship is interesting, never seen it done like that before.

Do continue.

~

Awesome! Another wonderful chapter. At the current pace, it seems that the story is going to be very very long?

Hm... I don't really see what the problem is. I'm a pretty slow reader, but I love long fics. I've read through this fic thus far and haven't had many problems with the amount of words. I guess that's just me, though.

Seeing this updated really brightened up my day! This chapter wasn't as action-packed as the others, but I take it that you used this chapter to establish a couple of things?

I was a bit surprised by the Nel/Clair approach you took at first. I've really only heard of this pairing from annoying fanboys, but you took it and made it into something really interesting.

In other words, loved this chapter. Looking forward to the next one!

Well... I enjoyed the first two chapters, but I can certainly see where others may have been discouraged a bit. You're right that it -is- a lot of information to take in at once and it's unclear, at first, how it will lead into the rest of the plot.

If you don't mind me suggesting a possible way to handle this, I'd argue you do a less linear plot progression. It doesn't need to be anything major but skip ahead to sometime in this chapter and start from there or even ahead to the fight scene next chapter. This would be your hook and then people have a better idea of where you're going, what to expect. Then jump -back- in time (I'm sure something will trigger an exasperated thought similar to, "How did I get involved in this again? Oh, yeah...") and start from when she's on Klaus, not yet knowing she'll be contacted by the Federation.

In the first chapter, there's a part where you put in italics "Flashback" and some mention of it'll be the last time you do that. If you want to mention that, I'd put it in the author notes. It just completely jars your suspension of belief in constructing the story. In fact, I'd suggest dropping flashback all together. It's not really necessary -- I think readers can easily figure out that it's a flashback with the context and your lead-in.

Regarding the second chapter, why not try breaking it up more and integrating it into the story? I'm not suggesting the use of flashbacks -- although certainly, they could be used -- but small lines or so can hint at the larger picture just as well. In fact, I'm not quite sure a lot of that dialogue is necessary or even helpful, esp. if you plan to revisit them anyway. Your intro to that chapter is -really- well set up; hilarious. Lastly, you could also try switching POVs (for ex., Dr. Esteed?).

Your characters are fantastic; love the characterizations and I'm inclined to agree with you on Maria. Awesome. Love it (bondage lecture - what a great illustration of Maria's character, and funny to boot!). Mirage is just as well sketched out. I loved the dictionary in SO3 and I'm glad you've decided to explore just how unique Elicoor II is, as well as the overall Federation. I think these two are some of your greatest strengths in this story.

The balance you maintain between drama and comedy is great, and I'm glad you decided to skip the portrayal of the 3 month angst routine of Nel's. Besides, Maria won't let her angst and she'll kick Nel's butt (figuratively) around until she gets her way. ;) It's refreshing to read from such a POV actually -- of someone who's not going to sit around and who's going to get things done.

The way you've decided to use Odessa (your OC) is such a great foil for Maria - and for Elicoor II - in this chapter. In the next chapter, btw, the visa versa is true (re: discussion on dealing with the citizens of Elicoor II).

This quote is particularly interesting to me:

"It wasn't as though Maria had any uncertainty about her own sexuality, but she wouldn't have been surprised to learn that an evolutionary throwback circuit in her brain was trying to trigger a 'competition' subroutine."

Hrm. I'm... not quite sure what to make of that. When she says sexuality, is she referring to her preferences? Or the fact that she is, just as sexually attractive as Odessa is (in a different way)?

Great story. Thanks for writing it. :)

Words cannot express how happy I am to see this new chapter. Thanks so much!

A holy sword named Arsesmiter? 0_-

Excellent chapter, great to see you're still writing this story. I eagerly await the continuation and am happy to say that I can't predict what it will be. :)

Interaction between people of different "tech levels" for lack of a better word have always fascinated me. Keep up the good work!

Please update! I'd hate to see this wonderful story discontinued =(

I enjoyed this story, but it was very hard to get into. If you ever rewrote it, I'd recommend HEAVILY reducing the size (or at least the density) of the first two chapters. I actually read chapter 1 off and on over a couple days, chapter 2 on another day, then the last three chapters in about an hour's sitting.

After the end of chapter 5, I feel like the story has only just started, and I'm anxious to see where it will go. I'm a bit worried that you seem to have completely marginalized Fayt (and significantly less worried that you did the same with Sophie. How tacked on can a character get?) but Nel at least seems to be fairly central.

A large problem seems to be the Maria centered narrative. Maria is an interesting character, but she is not a very _engaging_ character. A dry, collected, logical character can make a good foil, but they don't make for the most exciting points of view - especially in introspective pieces. The last three chapters broke this up a lot more with the other character's introductions, but the first chapters had Maria mainly interacting with other dry, calm, logical, collected characters, which led to a very stale feel.

I almost feel like I should be leaving different reviews for the first half of the story and the second half. In any case, I'm looking forward to seeing where you're taking the ideas of higher gods - I'm sure I'm not the only person who preferred Star Ocean 3 when the conflicts of the non 4D world actually mattered, and I'm eager to see you infusing the "real" world with meaning again.

Another brilliant piece of work, even if it has taken a while to materialize.

I like the way you handled the characters, and anyone that would say you unrealistically made Albel look bad, would be rather delusional. He responded very appropriately i think. Overall i would sum it as:

Inspiring.

Hope to see more and, no rush no pressure, but soon please. ^_^

Absolutely lovely, it is great that you are continuing this story! This is shaping up to be as good as your earlier POV work, keep it up. :)