|Reviews for The Servant: The Aleron Saga|
| zackubernerdcondon 2/28/07 . chapter 32
Azure:Cloud told me enough! You killed my father, Sephiroth!
Sephiroth:Azure, I AM YOUR FATHER!
| nightdragon0 2/23/07 . chapter 67
Well this one is required to progress the story.
Perhaps the main important point is showing how badly Ashiah and Leers are at ends. If the two highest commanders are fighting amongst themselves, that does tend to lead to disruptions in the army.
I really hope the two kids don't get involved. Cause Reeve's last line amout the ammo crates, plus Denzel's sort of 'grim state' seems to imply that.
For me, I feel that having the enemy threaten and then beat up the hero because he's holding a kid hostage, or having kids send the hero into a panic is rather cliche. It tends to happen quite a bit in amine too. On the other hand, there's no telling how much of the Geostigma still affects Denzel.
Granted, I suppose it is in Sephiroth's personality to use such a tactic, but more for his own amusement that him actually needing it to gain an advantage.
Of course, you just might have something else planned, heh.
I would like to see more materia use, but if this is more of a battle of ships and planes, it might not be the case.
| Maimakterion 2/20/07 . chapter 66
i would prefer it if you didnt stop writing the servant, i know i havent been reviewing much lately because i've had to save each chapter to my usb stick and read it at home but i really like the story
its true that your technique seems to be slipping lately but if you ignore the 'english teacher' aspect and look at the story itself one can definitely see the passion and the power of your ideas and i dont think you should give up on that just because you arent making a textbook example in your attempt to express them
for quite a few chapters until recently i was agonising over whether aleron would be krystea or what aeris becomes when the power of the sorceress is released, and then when i was sure it was going to be krystea you threw in the big questionmark over cloud and i started wondering if martiza might make him aleron, even while i was madly speculating on this front i was also intrigued and puzzling over what sephiroth was making until i came up with the hypothesis that it must be the hyperion - after all seifer does cut odin in half with it
from this you must be able to see that your writing still possesses the capacity to capture interest and inspire thought - even if i was wrong about the weapon and couldnt decide who was going to be aleron until krystea boarded the boat in new junon
so please dont kill the project yet, let me live in this world a little longer
| fosashaman 2/19/07 . chapter 66
Oh, please PLEASE don't be tempted to stop the story with Aleron. First off, you haven't told the story of my favorite Final Fantasy game yet, :P, and second, it would be just wrong.
I'm interested to see what you're going to do with Dirge of Cerberus, if it'll be just extra chapters, or if u're gonna actually like repost the relative chapters, or tack it on after the Aleron bit here.
I don't mind the OOC. Really, if I wanted characters that are in character, I'll play the game. Plus, hth can anybody know people enough from a few text boxes to say what they would or wouldnt do, YEARS after the events in the games. Tis a silly complaint.
All i can say is, you better get the next chapter posted, before I think of more things to review. :). Keep it up and don't quit.
| Myrr 2/18/07 . chapter 66
Genius. Pure genius. Love the way you managed to incorporate Dirge of Cerberus, although this brings up even more questions regarding both the past and the future. Speaking of DoC, that reminds me, where are a few of those key players? Anyway I just loved the chapter(Icould definitely see a spin off where the door was opened), still like the characters and I do believe that they are written accurately and for the most part in character. Look forward to the next chapter and the next segments of the series. Keep up the great job, update when you can.
| nightdragon0 2/18/07 . chapter 66
Looks like you sort of adapted Dirge of Cerberus into Bahamut's alternate reality timelines. I guess that's one way to say it 'exists' without drawing it into the story itself.
Ashiah seems to fit a typical 'bad guy' profile. Announcing the plans to the entire world, including the heroes, heh. I guess it's cause she thinks they won't be able to counterattack effectively.
Speaking of that, shouldn't Maritza at know a bit about the Gauntlet of Zeus? I can't remember if she was involved enough or had enough access to the project.
| cloudfightback 2/16/07 . chapter 65
Don't give up on this. I want to see more of this story and the next Saga. If people are giving their worst opinions of it, just remember, this writing is for your pleasure. I love reading this story and the other so if ya gonna end it, then i won't forgive you. Well...ya get the point anyway. Seriously though, you do a great job of being a author. I ain't bothered if it isn't right OOC or not. What count is the story.
| kenshinboi 2/15/07 . chapter 65
hey man, i love ur story, dont end it now, cuz its actually getting better then before which i didnt think possible
| Myrr 2/15/07 . chapter 65
First off I want to say it is impossible to become bored by reading this story and series. Even if I don't give much input(I apoligize) I still think it is easily one of the best series on fanfiction, defintely my favorite. So the last chapter of this one will soon begin, my only question is what comes after? Anyway keep up the great work and don't let anyone get you down, hope to see more when you can. Keep at it.
| nightdragon0 2/15/07 . chapter 65
It's a shame to think that Zola died for pretty much nothing in the end. Other than preventing Aleron from ressructing earlier.
I do see some things come to the 'breaking' point, like Cloud going to Maritza and Marlene & Denzel. I hope thought that the latter realizes he shouldn't do anything stupid.
It's good to see Aerith have a firm resolution and not break down and cry. That and the fact that she can really understand the situation now are certainly 'up' points on her character.
| Lizardios 2/15/07 . chapter 65
I forbid it. You will NOT just up and leave. I want to see this through to its end, every last book you had planned and whatnot.
YOU WILL FINISH!
As I've said before, just because I rarely review anymore, doesn't mean I don't eagerly anticipate every update. I'm actually disappointed on those days that I check my email and find that it hasn't updated (as opposed to when you began, way back when, and always updated once or twice a day). So what if now you've had to stop making the plot coincide with that of the games.
FINISH THE WHOLE SERIES, OR I'LL MAKE UP LOTS OF THREATS WITH WHICH TO THREATEN YOU WITH!
Besides... there's still one loose end that I can name. You never did reveal Siren's fate, way back in the Chaos Legacy.
| Setra Kakan 2/9/07 . chapter 64
Holy Crap! Poor Reno! He's my favorite turk.
I am now stunned. Wow. I don't know what else to say really. I didn't know what to expect but Aleron is creepy.
That's about all I can think of at the moment, aside from 'This looks bad'.
| Setra Kakan 2/9/07 . chapter 63
Ah ha! About halfway through this chapter I managed to guess what Krystea was becoming.
Your story, as always, is incredibly compelling. Always wanting to read more of it. Yet despite the incredible quality of your story, you always seem to update quickly, which is great.
Okay, onto the next chapter!
| nightdragon0 2/7/07 . chapter 64
Hmm, Elena seems to have guessed Ragnar's cetra secret, that he's been going through great pains to keep concealed.
You know, I think everyone would expect Aerith to keep denying the facts about Krystea. But I feel it would be a nice step up on her character to have her think over the facts, think over Azure and Sephiroth, and actually be able to do something about it other than 'crying'.
I'm not saying anything about completely skipping any angst parts though. That will be a human side to show, but don't overdo it. To me, it would drag the character down a lot.
Everything she's been through should've at least changed her a bit. I don't think she can remain at the same mentality forever, but it is Aerith that's in question, and it's hard to say for her.
But of course, it's my opinion of things.
| Shinji Ikari3 2/7/07 . chapter 64
Aleron's little stunt with the Materia in the end, among other things, reminded me of something. Its a recurring flaw I've seen all over in FINAL FANTASY VII Fanfiction, and I've apparently seen it so often I've become used to it myself because this really should have been pointed out Chapters upon Chapters ago. Specifically, I'm referring to the fact a lot of authors seem to conveniently forget the main characters have Materia at their disposal. At worst, I remeber running into a situation in someone else's Fanfiction where one or more of the main characters died against a really dangerous enemy because they were only using their weapons, and the whole thing ended up coming off as horribly contrived and I didn't find the character death convincing at all.
Your story, seeing as it incorporates ADVENT CHILDREN, isn't quite as guilty of this failing because of Loz's theft of the chest with everyone's Materia. However, I'm hard-pressed to believe Cloud and company would've left it behind in the Forgotten Capital after the struggle against the avatars was over; so why doesn't Materia appear very often in your story? I can understand why it wasn't present in some of the situations, since the gang had to scramble out to meet an approaching threat with little time to stock up, but in other situations (such as the failed Operation Hiccup and just now with Ragnar, Cloud, and Aeris heading out to find Krystea), I see no reason why they couldn't have stocked up on their Materia. If they'd brought it along on Operation Hiccup it would have made a number of situations a lot easier to deal with. Where has that Materia chest gone, and why hasn't it been used? If it hasn't been recovered from the Forgotten Capital, why? Et cetera? I strongly recommend you explain this.
There's also another point of criticism I've forgotten to mention. Early in FINAL FANTASY VII, the research stuff Sephiroth is reading state Jenova was found in a two thousand year old geological stratum. This was quite possibly an estimate, but in your timeline, Jenova crashed sometime shortly after the events of FINAL FANTASY IV, (checks back at Chapter 12 of WYVERN), Bahamut was resurrected two and a half million years after FINAL FANTASY IV, and (while I can't remember the exact date or which Chapter to look in), early in ALERON you mentioned the current time was around a millennium after FINAL FANTASY VI. 2,0 years is not an estimate of approximately 3,500 years. I strongly recommend you resolve this plot inconsistency.
And while I'm Reviewing, Yuffie and Vincent were helping evacuate Midgar post-the final battle. Remember the very beginning of that scene? You see Meteor beginning to penetrate the clouds. I thought that was actually a rather clever explanation for why Yuffie and Vincent weren't on the airship during the ending, and I feel its in-character for Yuffie to help under those circumstances. (I somehow doubt she noticed it was Rufus Shinra who was being wheeled away considering how busy she was coordinating efforts.) So don't worry, I'm fairly sure the Sister Ray fight is intact. (I'd disagree with Hojo the Bozo being the most difficult enemy outside of the WEAPONs, though... Although, seeing as I still haven't yet bothered to get everyone to Level 99 before taking on the final battles and take on Safer Sephiroth with his gargantuan stat boosts, I'm not in a position to make that judgment yet. *Shrug.* Do you know about that, by the way? I get the impression not many people know how many stat variations Sephiroth really has. If you don't, check around GameFAQs... its in the largest FINAL FANTASY VII Enemy Statistics Guide.)
"Your shield is shattered! Your oaths poison those they would protect!"-Judge Magister Gabranth
FINAL FANTASY XII