 2007-08-07 . chapter 3 -gasp!-
Why is Riku leaving?
First off, I LOVE your writing. It's so vivid yet...concentrated.
Condensed?
Perhaps.
I don't know why, but your writing brings into my head an image of a really bright jewel.
But moving on, maybe we don't need a reason for Riku leaving.
Maybe it doesn't need a clear answer.
Perhaps it doesn't need to be delved into.
Like, if you've seen the Prestige, they tell you that if one knows the truth, the trick means nothing. Maybe the one-shot is like the trick...and we don't really need the full answer to really appreciate the fic itself?
I mean, Riku could be going off to summer camp for all we know.
Lol, I've been rambling.
Whoo!! I sounded really weird too.
But I digress, I LOVE your writing and I wait for the next chappie! |
 XO'MagickMoon'OX 2007-07-10 . chapter 3Okay. I think I know why. Do you have a real reason, or is this one of those I-don't-know-why-it-is-the-way-it-is-so-interpret-for-yourself things? I do those a lot. And then get in trouble when people want to know why things happened the way they did. Ahhahaha...ahem. Anyway.
I will tell you my story.
It's a little cliched, but I think it works.
So, Sora comes to Riku, and admits to liking him as more than a best buddy. And Riku rejects him (oh, the cliche, it burrnss...) Yes. So, Sora tries to convince Riku to give "them" a try, but Riku still refuses. This makes sense for the whole,
“But it’s -not- sour.”
“Sora. Stop.”
“Just give it a try. Maybe you’ll enjoy it. And really what’s the harm?”
“I’m not asking you to eat it all.”
“Please, Sora. No more.”
And it might even explain why Riku decides to up and leave. Although... I think my story loses viability when it gets to the end, with Sora telling Riku he won't write. Because it makes it seem.. like... I don't know how to put this. *ponders* It makes Riku sound like the...victim (for want of a better word).
'Cause you see, in my story, Sora would be the victim. Riku's leaving /him/, because Riku rejected /him/, but towards the end of the story, Riku sort of becomes the victim... when Sora tells Riku he won't write, that he won't miss him.
Oh, and their touching-ness at the end detracts from my story's viability too. Because if Riku was really rejecting Sora, I don't think he would be touching him. So, basically, it's all for nothing.
I hope you enjoyed my nonsense theory. :D
SO, onto the part where I praise you for your amazingness.
I like how...uh... abstract your writing is. I like how your words are fresh, I guess is the way I'd describe them. It all seems so original (unlike my writing, which is exhausted and repetitive and just altogether /drab/ xDD;; *shot*). Like, these parts, for example:
"The tart-crisp Granny tumbles out of his fingers. It spins on a pretty green axis around and around the ruddy-tan countertop before it falls."
"He scrambles on his knees and elbows looking for the waxen fruit that wobbles about in plain sight. [...] his eyes glow water-clear as they fix upon my face."
"Several times I gape my mouth."
"...the graying wood-pulp..."
"...clasp me against the slighter baby boy body..."
Ahhahah, yes, I think you get my point. Those hyphenated words, too, "tart-crisp," "ruddy-tan," "water-clear," "wood-pulp"... they're just so /you/. I've never seen another writer do something like that, and it seems like you know just what two words to put together, too, to make your imagery so vivid.
Basically, you can speak volumes with just a few words.
I really admire writers who can do that... probably because I tend to be overly descriptive and flowery and... brevity is not my strong point. Which takes the impact out of my writing...
So, yeah, I love your writing. :D I love these drabbles... this one was really sad. ;o; And! If there is a story behind it all, please tell me what. :O
More please! |