   Simon Aridan
2006-07-04 . chapter 1Overall, great work so far!
*Warning* *Review contains spoilers*
There are two things which are a little funny to me, though.
1. I think the manner in which Spike gave the whiskey to Faye could have been improved. I think Spike gave it up a little too easily. I believe he would have been a little more resistant, brushing off Faye with sarcastic remarks before telling her about the whiskey.
You did, however, make up for most of it when Spike told Faye it was under the floorboards, with Spike's laugh and sly grin.
No real harm there, I may be nitpicking on that issue.
2. When Stella and Faye exit the pub and say goodbye, Faye immediatly gives Stella the offer of joining them.
I feel that there could have been a little more of build-up before Faye gives Stella the offer. I might have added a sentence such as this before their departure:
"Hm, this girl is alot more clever than she looks. I wonder what kind of bounty hunter she would make..."
Of course, you can't put in too much build-up, because then it jumps from fore-shadowing to revealing the plot.
Again, no real harm there ,I may be nit-picking on this one too.
Besides those two very minor details, the series thus far is great. I really liked the way you put everything together.
My favorite parts were when
a) Faye becomes drunk while brooding over Spike.
b) Stella's slyness is shown when she released the gas onto the Bebop that knocked the crew unconcious.
Scenes 2 and 3, respectively.
Keep it up! I'll be watching for Session 2!
Overall rating thus far: 8.6 |
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