really really good

i loved it

i love all your fanfics :D

i was never into reading oneshots but yours are amazing

:D

happy writing!

bfos

Excellent work and quite sad.

Hey, a job well done! I like it!

I felt somewhat sad reading this. Especially the last line. Poor Mayu and poor Shinn. Big-hearted of Mayu not to blame Kira for her death and her parents' deaths. I like the portrayal of her feelings and thoughts.

A very unique take indeed!

But one quick thing, Shinn's sister's name is Mayu not Miyu.

I've always been curious about this girl and her effect on Shinn... And I definately like how you let her see Kira's side of the story. There are some hidden similiarities between Shinn and Kira, and I'm glad you pick that up here too.

One quick note on the language (kind of neat picky)... I'm not sure if "damn phone" would be in Mayu's vocabulary given her age... but I guess that's just my subjective feeling...

I also like how you bring up Shinn's innocent past, and how she lament for the lost of it because of the war... and her hope for him to regain some wisdom from it (like Kira).