I came across your story and decided to leave some feedback.

I realize this is only the first chapter, so it is hard to tell what will happen, but it looks interesting. It seems to flow well enough, even with the many changes of scene.

It is interesting that you have Mekel with the Jedi. As I recall, he actually refused the suggestion to go to the Jedi in the game. But he could of course have had a change of heart.

A little bit of nitpicking. I see that you use miles as a measure of distance here. Star Wars actually uses the metric system. This is also mentioned in the game when they talk about the kilometer high trees on Kashyk.

I didn’t notice any particular spelling errors or such, except for the occasionally missing comma. I think that maybe you should capitalize the exile as it is the name/title by which the Exile is known. A small typo: when you mention the number 10,0 it becomes 10 00 another 2 lines down.

However, I had some difficulty reading this story because of the formatting of the text. As it is you have all the text of each scene in a clump with a single line to denote the next scene. That I find hard to read on the monitor, since it is not very apparent where one paragraph ends and the next begins.

I think you should at least consider changing the formatting so you have a blank line after every paragraph. You could then use for example 3 lines for changes between scenes.

Of course, the above are just suggestions, and you can ignore them if you wish.