|Reviews for Moondance|
| Jefepato 1/21/07 . chapter 1
Wait, so 8 years after Raz achieves his life's dream and accepts a position as an international psychic secret agent, he's living in a quiet suburb and working at a bar?
I mean, the summary did say "a little OOCness," but come on.
| Digitaldreamer 11/6/06 . chapter 7
Aw, this was sweet.
You could, however, have stood to have a lot more build-up and detail. The way Raz and Lili's relationship just suddenly changes in this fic...well, it would work if you had more going, but they go from "OMG LOVE!" to "OMG EMO BREAK-UP!" in like, a paragraph. A good fic stretches out these things realistically. It would have been better if you had Lili sort of thinking about the whole college thing when she first saw Raz, then eventually he notices she's acting weird, she explains, they break up, yadda yadda yadda. More thoughts from both that all eventually build up to the "OMG MAKE OUT IN THE RAIN!" scene.
Don't get me wrong, the concept is good and the story itself is sweet. You just could have used a lot more detail and content so the way Raz and Lili's relationship changes didn't seem quite so random. When reading, one should be able to get into a characters head and tell what they're feeling, see what they see, hear what they hear, so on and so forth.
Aside from needing a lot more buildup and detail, this really was sweet. It was nice to see how all the campers have changed (or haven't, rather) over the years, especially to see that Bobby ended up working at Burger Kind, hehe. And of course, Raz and Lili's relationship, while it could have been better done, was sweet...and I do love Elton/Milka, so the ending made me happy.
I do hope you write more Psychonauts fics soon, as I'm sure with practice you could get a lot better!
| Account Not Used 7/16/06 . chapter 7
Hey really nice fic. I've just gotten into psyconauts fics n i'm thinking of writing my own but im not sure of the setting for it.
Well anyway i really enjoyed it and i hope u write more.
| Kitsubasa 7/9/06 . chapter 7
Sweet, cute, and I love it. Enough said.
| Rock California 7/9/06 . chapter 7
YES! That was so awesome! It was so cute and fluffy! This isn't the end, is it? NO! I is sad...:(
| Kitsubasa 7/8/06 . chapter 6
aww, how sweet. Loving this darth.
| Rock California 7/8/06 . chapter 6
AW! Sweet, lovely chapter!
| Rock California 7/8/06 . chapter 5
Aww, sweet! But why'd Raz go all "i have to go to the restroom." and left Lili? Thats just sad...:(
But it was a nice chapter!
| Kitsubasa 7/7/06 . chapter 5
RAZ IS BREAKING LILI'S HEART! *sniff sniff* IT'S RAZ MURDERING TIME!
| Rock California 7/6/06 . chapter 4
:) I like this one a lot. But poor Raz...
| Rock California 7/6/06 . chapter 3
YAY! New chapter!
I like it but Lili seems just a teensy wee bit OOC. Just barely tho. And its kinda sad at the end of this one...But overall its wonderful.
| Kitsubasa 7/6/06 . chapter 4
Hehe. Bobby with a tin smile! Hehe. Loving this am I, darth.
| xvjafhafg.a 7/5/06 . chapter 1
Let me take the privilege of saying 'Aw...' And I mean it. how can you tell? I didn't use 'Oh-me-oh-my' at the beggining.
| Rock California 7/5/06 . chapter 2
Oh God you're so good at this! And the cliffy! *sigh* Okay this is officially my new favorite Psychonauts fic along with Always The Same. :) Update soon!
| Rock California 7/5/06 . chapter 1
This is very good! A few spelling mistakes but thats not a big deal. I really like this a lot!