Oh wow. O_O This is definately one of the best stories I had ever read. It was very short, but at the same time, so very good. I mean, I loved your descriptive writing and the details you put on the guilt that was weighing down on Remor's soul. And not to mention, I loved how he was always almost like a coward, going along with the plans and never really knowing when he can finally turn back. I liked him a lot, even when he did all those horrible things and helped the bad guys. He was just born onto the wrong side, I guess you can say.

And plus, I just loved your ending. I felt like crying. I really did. I mean, this whole time I was rooting for him, though I knew that chances were, he was going to get killed. But from both sides?! The horrible realization that hit him in the end, that both sides hated him equally (both his allies and enemies). One side hated him simply for being born the way he was, and the other hated him for being better. It was a surprising twist, and I'm glad that Arden at least honored his death. It was a bitter-sweet ending, very tragic (the most impactful kind of ending possible). Again, I saw absolutely no flaws in your writing. Absolutely loved it. :)

~Jade TeaLeaf

WAAHH! *cries*

Lovely, beautiful, magnificent.

They buried him with SARDON?! Ok, that seems a little unrealisic... for Arden, that is. If you ask me, I would have thought that Arden would've made absolute certain that Remor was given a more decent burial...

"Because he was vermin." That is the ONLY excuse I've ever heard warriors give when slaying vermin (although, whenever Brian Jacques has them do it, he always makes certain to point out that the vermin really WERE bad.).

This fic was A LOT better than your other "good" vermin fic. NO OFFENSE, THOSE OTHER FICS WERE WONDERFUL! Really, they were; it was the parts where the woodlanders realize that the vermin in question was good... no offense, but those parts were... no offense, sappy.

BUT THIS FIC, WAS PERFECT (except for the fact that the woodlanders buried Remor along with the other vermin; I would have thought Arden would have made it so that the marten was given a more honorable burial, AND that the woodlanders weren't so THICK-HEADED, but thats just me).

Catcalls? The other vermin regarded Remor with catcalls? Did that mean that they thought he was hot?

And that one torturer in chapter 2... was he gay?

Well, your fic was lovely, Kayla. I look forward to future work from you... good bye.

Well now, Kayla, this IS a most pleasant surprise :D After all the talk of your novel-length opuses (opusi?) and the massively long short-story (novella!) that was Shadows in the Dark, this story comes out of nowhere!
The best short stories are the ones that are indeed SHORT, but also present the reader with enough of a cohesive world and a memorable cast of characters that said readers simply don't want the story to end. In my opinion, the best short stories are the ones that invite MORE stories, and this is the kind of story you've written.
The plot is simple and to-the-point. There's a good guy (who's a bad guy, really) and a bad guy (who's an even worse bad guy), and the mouse spy who brings about the climax and conclusion. So simple, yet so effective! It's like you've stripped the story down to the most basic elements and presented it here.
Remor is a great protagonist - he does terrible things, especially in the first chapter, but you present his inner turmoil so well (as Agent D said) that his shortcomings are more like reconcilable character flaws than anything permanently detrimental. We're thinking "Man, he just slaughtered an entire town of innocent woodlanders... but he wouldn't have if he had his way!"
Sardan is an appropriate villain in the purpose he's meant to serve, and Ardan works well as the catalyst of the end of the story.
In the end, I can't help but wish this story was a few chapters longer - but that's just who I am ;-)
I was afraid at first, when you told me the basic outline, that it would be too similar to my own "Aftermath" - some of the same elements are in both our stories, but in "Redemption," you show the story from the opposite side, making the tale appropriately tense without laying on the ham, and entertaining without assaulting the senses.
I was looking forward to reading another of your stories without having to invest a great deal of time and effort into it. This was a nice little bite-sized nugget of awesomeness, to put it plainly, and I'm looking forward to more, and I'm also looking forward to the king-sized versions that are your novels ;-)

And a great climax to an awesome tale. Again, my only complaint is that it was shorter than I wanted it. ;)

Nice touch, with the opposing arrows bit. A tragic end... but at least the pine marten can rest in peace. Loved it. The inner turmoil was done nicely, without the cheese, and it was in-character as far as the Redwall world is concerned. Badgers would be resolute about such things...

*hugs pine marten and the cool mouse spy*

Ah, a tragic hero. A forgotten tide in the war. Remor sure aroused by fear and empathy for him. Somehow I knew he was doomed from the start. But if one person does acknowledge him as a hero at least. I guess that would be enough for him. I do hope that in the end, he was judged for who he is and not his past actions, like all of us. I wish I could comment more without sounding like an idiot, but...well...bravo. Hmm, it's quite rare I reviewed each and every chapter.

Wow this is a really powerful story. I love the plot. It's tru that most of the time everyone thinks that vermin are vermin and can never change. That's y its so sad sometimes.

Awsome! As all your other stories! Awsome!

Lovely. Beautiful. Magnificent.

Remor is hot; I like him.

Oh no... another mouse... in all of your 'good vermin' fics, there's always a mouse that's a friend to the vermin.

No offense, but... hmm... I wonder if it would be the same if you changed Arden to a squirrel or an otter or... no, actually, he HAS to be a mouse, b/c he's been captured; mice are the easiest warrior beasts to capture, so...

Sigh, you HAD to make this SO short, didn't you? Sigh...

Oh well, at least we won't have to wait too long...

Keep up the good work!

I liked the use of how you placed in the italics after the quotes to centre on what Remor's really thinking. That's verbal irony for ya! I can only imagine what would happen to the armies morale when they realize the officer they once looked up to and admired turned tails on them. Or would they ever?

Wait a minute, what do you mean by final update? No! Nohoho! This story had so much potential though! Oh well...at least I dearly hope the chapter will be long.

I'll have to check around here after Sunday then, won't I? Too bad it'll be the final update...

All I can say is, this is brilliant. Just when I despaired of ever finding a really good "vermin goes against his side" fic, I stumble on this. I think you've nailed it - especially since for seasons Remor is somehow unable to take that extra (and perhaps fatal) step, the one that will put an end to his participation in the carnage. He knows it's wrong, but he can't force himself to stop.

Man, I even got some great mental images that I want to draw pictures of while I read this. And a desire to try something serious and Redwally.

*bows*

Good very good plez update soon!

Very, very...very nicely done! Keep it up! Can't wait for more!

Powerful opening, interesting set up, good descriptions of inner conflict, wonderful use of tension, and an unusual lack of grammatical errors. I've read alot of stories that center on a conscience stricken vermin, so I'm anxious to see where you take this.

That's a pretty clever name you chose for the main character too...

My goodness! This is... is amazing! So much emotion in one chapter!! This is great.. I don't know what else to say besides: AWESOME! ADD MORE SOON!