Bad at Sex Scenes you say?

They were the best part acctually. I'm really not sure what to say about this story though... It's not that it was bad, it could just... use some work.

It was all going ok until after the Sex Scene. Everything just seemed too rushed and cliched. Especially the ending. There wasn't enough description or development either, it just seemed to... happen.

Also, the characters didn't seem as if they were... well... in character.

You definitely have something there, if you re-wrote this and put in more description, took more time on developing on certain moments and changed what I thought was a cliched ending slightly then you'd have something great.

Don't worry about the sex scenes though, with just a bit more clarity and an expanded vocabulary they'll be perfect.

- MajoraCremia

This is among one of the saddest displays of stupidity I've ever read.

There isn't a single thing about this story that isn't disturbing. No, I do not mean that as a compliment.

hot and sweet. GX has few female characters, so Asuka needs to pick her girl carefully. great story.

Hmm, what can i say? The concept is sound but the whole thing is too abrupt. Coupled with either a strange analogy or completely out of place scene change, made it awkward to read. Not to sound condescending but you should justsit back and read over what you have written, not as the author, but as a reader (took me almost failing an exam to realise that! lol). I hope you see this as helpful and not as the ramblings of a pretentious prick (altough it's true XD).

why yo KID are you on drugs or somethin cause i think only some crack head would kill some 12 year old little girl even if it was just a story you DONT KILL LITTLE GIRLS YO didn't read anywhere on the summary about tradgedy or charater death yo wonder if this was all some story how would you like it if some guy killed you just because he wanted som reviews and what about the pedophile stuff i mean a 17 year old and a 10 year old yo HOLE JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU MAKES ME WANT TO BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT WITH A GUN OR HAVE YOU HIT WITH A CAR AND DIE A VERY! PAINFUL! DEATH YO D

Yes please make a sequel were lexis and rei go home but rei has a nasty aide effect after she leaves

The side aeffect can be when rei gets spooked scared or exited her heart starts to stop

Raawrg... You killed her... Evil... This is the oldest good story I've read of yours lol

WTF OMG?

THIS IS A SHOW ABOUT CARD GAMES NOT SEX

I almost cried at the end. Defintely make a sequel

-.-' Romantic.

dude...that wrong killing the little girl, for shame

Omz the ending made me tear up...*sniffles* that's so sad! good story though.

Not good at sex scenes? Oh my Hera, you are so wrong about that! That sex was overly, deliciously, toxicatingly hot. I don't speak for anyone else, but if I was a guy I'd be wanking off to this two times a day. -adds story to Favorites list- Anyway, good fic. Very cliche, but like I said, the sex scene was hot and th pedophile thing with Fubuki and his sister was funny. Thanks for writing this!

Twilla

Nice story. Don't know why, but I think Sho shooting Chronos to death is funny.

please make a sequel ur one of the few ppl who have written a story 4 dis couple. i've written one 4 zane jesse,Zane Alexis and finally Jesse Ash