This is good in that the plot and chatacter is there, however your wordind, would Seto (of ancient egypt say "What the hell is his problem!") its probably be more like 'What in the name of Ra is his problem?' or 'Ra save me from arrogant cousins/phroah's to be' or something) This is only a suggestion I still like your story, its interesting.

I don't know HOW you could think this sucks! This looks very promising and I can't wait to see what happend next!

Nice.

Your story is fine. Update soon, please?

It's fine! Update soon!

SURE Atem is very stubborn! PLEASE update the next chapter soon

This is cute. Atemu is acting like a spoiled brat and will be sorry when he crosses Seto. If he survives.

How old are they in this story? Just curious. So far, it's looking really good.

Anyways, I don't mean to be harsh on you, so please forgive me.

I think that the characters are out of their nature, because Atem doesn't come off to a person as a brat if you've seen the Egyptian series. Also, Seto is the stubborn one and so should be characterized.

Then I think you are doing yourself an injustice by not showing us what you mean. Talk about the niles rushing waves in the paragraph. About Atem's beating up some guy as a flashback.

Finally, I do think it has potential so don't give up on yourself. So remember that and don't take this as a flame, but as a chance to improve yourself. *virtually hugs*