hello, i find that your fiction is great and the best "Beaty and the Beast"-"Teen Titans" crossover i have read

love this story cant wait 4 the next chapter

Hey i know that you made this chapter areally long time ago but i just want to say i have fallen in love with this story and it is deeply heart breaking to she that you have not decided to continue it :( um i know your not going to but please update soon

seriously you havnt finished the story yet man and i was actually looking forward to that. update soon

shit thats just heavy stuff dude. Man ive seen the movie and i'm almost in tears from this chapter. it gets to me every fucking time. Good story dude good job.

wow if Trigons scared then we all need to be scared. wow.

wow heavy stuff.

this is so good i accually cried a little for BB

I sympathize with your math struggles and had it not been for the fact that I did distance track (don't ask, the reason is strange and disturbing) I'd sympathize with the running.

I love your story.

I don't believe that you were just starting 8th grade when you wrote this. You're too good.

And honestly, excellent match with Adonis and Guilldon (sp?). They even look alike.

I love how you're fitting all the characters in. Sometimes, I think that has to be the hardest part of writing stories like this.

Just curious, is this all from memory or did you watch Beauty and the Beast recently? Because it's very accurate and believable. And awesome.

Your story is awesome.

Robin is so the candleobra. It's so him. And Starfire totally is the featherduster. Perfect match!

Nice job with Silkie.

Alright, chapter was nice, if the dialogue was a bit forced (understandable considering that it's Raven in the role of Belle), but don't put ANs in the middle of a chapter EVER. It disrupts the flow of the story, irritates your readers, and is against the rules. Now, the little cheese anecdote would be charming if it was at the end of the chapter. However, it's just irritating and slightly stupid in the middle. And if you want to make the story really convincing, give Adonis the strange obsession with cheese and explain your inspiration at the end.

Ex. Adonis had a strange obsession with cheese. Most of the villagers believed it was due to his mother, (name), and her love of the etible mold. (Name) had been an excellent cheese maker until the betrayal and subsequent death of her husband. (This was another incident in which Raven and the villagers held different opinions. They believed that Mr. (Name) had been savagely slayed by the milkmaid, as per (name's) story. Raven and her father, however, thought that it was more likely that (name) had killed her own husband whence she discovered him in bed with the milkmaid. The fact that the murder weapon was a cheese-knife made this story all the more plausible). Said love had eventually been her/(name's) downfall. (poisonous mushroom species) did not go well with Guada. Personally, Raven Adonis's obsession didn't stem from any misguided, but noble, attempt to remember his mother; she believed that insanity did run in the family. However, Adonis's cheese weakness was nothing but a blessing and Raven was never one to look a gift horse in the mouth or gift (cheese that sounds like horse).

But, now, back to the present. Can be replaced with "But I digress". Why? Because "I digress" fits in with the fairytale theme, and is pretty awesome.

Mish. Don't have her not know why she likes it. The clothes could be the clothes her mother made of out her old fine dresses (she could've been a lady/princess before she married Trigon and was disowned). Raven's mother would have tried to make the dresses peasant-ish. Raven would like to wear because her mother hand-sewed them and she likes feeling close to her mum (who should be death for proper tragic effect).

Wow. Impressive first chapter. Nice touch with Terra being the enchantress. However, I'd watch the use of adjectives. The phrase "increase the beauty of her hair" is annoying. It's effective and creates a vivid picture, but it's still irritating. Mainly because people aren't going to think "and those yellow rose really increase the beauty of her hair." Almost anything would work better. Accent her hair, bring out her hair, the sloping line create by the sash could draw his eyes upwards...

And I know it's a minor detail, but that's why it's such a big deal.

w . elfwood farp / thewriting / sitsdecept / sitsdecept . html

There's the link to a very good writing tutorial. IF the link doesn't work go to Elfwood, click Tutorials, go to The Writing, and it's called The Deception of Description.

But other than some cliched description, it's very good so far.

It was short, but entertaining. The idea of fighting furniture and objects is funny. If that happened, I'd probably need a new pair of pants...

That's pretty funny how Robin and Starfire are having a moment right in the middle of a battle. Adonis is a jerk. I hope he dies. Or maybe fight with Beast Boy... or both.

I do hope this gets updated soon, I am very eager to see the ending of it.

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD (sorry if this offends you) UPDATE YOUR STORY!

Liliko