Nicely done. I especially liked the first section, because I really liked the way you wrote Slughorn. Very in character.

oh...this is nice ^_^ but dumbeldore gave tom really wierd advice...O.o

Very nicely written. I liked Slughorn's character. Dumbledore's was alright, but I somehow didn't get a very Dumbledore-ish vibe from him. The italized phrases rather confused me a bit, until I read all the italized phrases through continuously ^_^

I'm here from the One-Shot exchange, I'm "armyangel" over there.

I must say, this was quite an interesting look at Tom Riddle. You also have gotten Dumbledore's and Slughorn's personalities down perfectly, so great job on that. Most fanfiction writers take Dumbledore's silliness too far, but you haven't done that.

Great job!

I must say you are an extraordinary writer. I have no scathing critique to leave, it was excellent.
You captured the characters beautifully.
Tom is enigmatic and sinister.
Slughorn is pompously oblivious.
Dumbledore is calm and yet passionate.
I love your tenses (the POV) very unique.
The interactions between the two pairs are spot on canon and your descriptions are gorgeous ('his face half-hidden by the shadow...' gave me chills).
I'm sorry to leave no useful tips but I plan to read any other fics you have up.
bow to Eliot:
Slytherin house has certainly gone under the sea.

__
please read my one-shot Pensieve Heir if you are so inclined (penname kalaway7):

Hi, I'm from the one-shot exchange :)

This was a really well written story, and there were many parts that I enjoyed.

I love the part where Slughorn gets distracted by the colours of his draperies, but it sets the perfect excuse for Riddle's "eye's"

"There is a distinct coolness in his voice that blows like a cold, frigid breeze across me." I love this sentence, it is exactly how I'd picture Riddle speaking.

The end line, with Dumbledore's/Riddle's parting words, and the words you used to describe their movements etc was very well written.

I liked the "italic" parts, but I found them so spaced out throughout your one-shot, that, unless you were paying attention, had a good memory, or back tracked, it was hard to connect them all.

You could have easily made this a longer story, but I like the way you ended it, and the shortness of it.

I'm delighted to find this oneshot depicts Dumbledore just right, as well as Slughorn. I love the bit about the robes, just like his thinking youths are always hurrying.
One of the best oneshots I've ever read. You are so my favourite author.

I love this. It really captures the characters well.

This is really, really good. Slughorn, Dumbledore and Tom are all perfectly in character, and it's quite creepy with the knowledge of what Tom is going to do with the rest of his life, though everything is innocent on the suface. One of the best oneshots I have ever read, I think; I'm very impressed.

This fic didn't meet my angsty expectations, but overall well written. The last line about folly and where you put it in the story really got me. Of course, everyone else is in character though Tom could have responded to Dumbledore's advice differently.

Okay, cheers for now.

Oh. Very good. Slughorn is really in character. The crystallized pineapple was really to be expected, but I liked that he was thinking about redecorating while talkking to Tom. (I like purple!) Relique- relic-- appropriate for Ancient Runes.

Dumbledore was great as well. I liked the little bit about his robes. Very appropriate, and a reminder that he is not yet headmaster. Nice addition with the mention of Grindelwald, and I liked the referances to Dark wizards as "pesky" and "quite irritating". He doesn't worry too much...

Intersting that Dumbledore was at a loss for what advice to give. Good foreshadowing, all throughout. When you go back and read the quotes again, they make a lot of sense.

Very good! I enjoyed it thoroughly. True to canon and not overdone, either.

~Sylvia Snape

Whew!

I don't think this would be disturbing at all to someone who doesn't know who Riddle is. The eerie quality comes from the knowledge of what he's doing, what he's planning--what the red glint in his eye is, why he's going to work in Knockturn Alley, and, most spookily of all, what he means by living a long life.

Overall, a faithful--and chilling--depiction of young Riddle.

Your Dumbledore isn't bad either.

A rather bleak look at an ending and a beginning, with very dark underpinnings but little on the surface.

'Tom is amused at the strangest things, sometimes.'

Well, yes, he is. :)

Slughorn is gleefully oblivious.

I like the pause that Riddle has at leaving...a bit human.

'Then I shall make sure to live a long life, Professor'

Perfect end line, IMO. How he misses the message, but still...I can't explain it, he takes something even from that, though it is twisted. Tom has always wanted many things, hasn't he? :)

Good job!