Contrary to the review below me, I thought this was quite interesting. Wonderful writing, and a different take on the normal POV one-shot. That said, this is going in my C2 for one-shots!

-Flameboo

I don't get it.

This really isn't much. If what you were trying to get across was the fact that almost no one listens to the guy at the entrance of the GYMs, then okay. It still wouldn't make sense, but okay.

Right here, you've written down just an ordinary day going by to any man, not just the man at the GYM. It just doesn't make sense. There's no moral, there's no real interest. It's just a man giving out advice.

Right now, I feel like the trainer the man tried to warn. blinking at what you've written and saying "whatever."

On the positive side, this is good writting. An excellently written story with no point whatsoever. Well, at least I know you know how to write GOOD. The fic itself though...I need "A Cigarette Moment."

Later.