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Reviews For: Road Trip With Vortex - Reviews: Page 1 of 2

Andy
2008-06-08
ch 2, anon.
abusedude you got to update and please dont make Cindy a girly girl becuse im a gir that does not like that kind of girls
Dania Judeh
2007-04-05
ch 2, anon.
abuseRight a part where jimmy saves cindy from a wild fox!
LiRiNCaNdY
2006-11-29
ch 2,
abuseUPDATE S&LNES
mrmuscle
2006-10-03
ch 2,
abusegood story. Update soon.
nina
2006-08-16
ch 2, anon.
abuseRepeat after me, update now so nina can read some more.Good story. Nina likes, write more NOW!
beatgoeson654
2006-08-13
ch 2,
abuseHey! Haha anyways don't apologize, your english is amazing! Please update this one soon! It's going on my faves, it's probably one of your best stories yet!
Dani phantom
2006-08-13
ch 2,
abuseok i pressed the smll go button...
haha it's a good story. i like the idea of it.
and they'e all 15 now? good, good.
dreadedreviewer
2006-08-13
ch 2,
abuseGood idea for a story. I like it! But be wary that since the story doesn't appear to have a particular climax point (ie. we have no idea where the story is headed or will eventually end up), it is particularly prone to drag along. Make sure to take notice of it and keep the story flowing ('cause I really want to read the whole thing without getting bored!).

I would also make a note of using more consistent grammar. Whilst the occasional slip is expected (we are not writing English essays here), constant bad grammar can make the story a little uncomprehensible. For example:

'' Jimmy could you please come to the entrance of the house, your father has something to show you'' His mother said sweetly to him.

Should really read:

'' Jimmy, could you please come to the entrance of the house? Your father has something to show you.'' His mother said sweetly to him.

The comma is a friend to you and me! (and simply makes the story easier on the eyes and the mind!)

Keep up the good writing, and I look forward to the next installment.

P.S. Ignore the comments of jerks like Greg, they are out there to discourage you to put themselves up!
Stay-Away
2006-08-12
ch 2,
abuseHey english was not my frist lanugauage ethier soo yeah... but still good chap
Your Unofficial Older Siste...
2006-08-12
ch 2, anon.
abuse*Sigh* (Happily) I like this story. I think it has lots of potential and I'm glad you finally decided to write something after a bazillion years of not being here. Anywho, good job and keep at it. :D
gryffinval7890
2006-08-12
ch 2, anon.
abusei like it so far...its going kinda slow, but i appreciate the introductions of stories and how they lead up to the plot...i can feel the potential and i know i'm gonna like this story..
jimlover54
2006-08-12
ch 2,
abusegood, but you need to update soon.
acosta perez jose ramiro
2006-08-12
ch 2,
abuseVery good chapter! Nice job with all the characters. I liked a lot Sheen and Libs' bit, and the scenes at the Neutrons' place.

Keep the good writing.
KteK
2006-08-12
ch 2,
abuseYou've got my interest!! Keep going! :D

XKaTiEX p.s. lol. I know what you mean about updating. LOL. With only about 14 days left before I go to college, the pressure is ON! :D
MysticLady3
2006-08-12
ch 2,
abuseGreat start so far! Keep it up it sound awesome.
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