This is made entirely of win and awesome.
Keep it up, you roxxors ma wurld!

Ryousanki (Germany)

This story is hilarious! :) Even though my computer wouldn't let me view chapters 14 or 20, it's really funny!

Vera

I love this story and I think it's perhaps the best 'Things Not To Do' story I have ever read. That being said, I have a couple of things that could be added to the list. I hope you enjoy them:

[Do not play Weird Al Yankovic's "I Think I'm A Clone Now" over the loudspeakers whenever an Asgard beams into the base.
b.) Do not play Weird Al's "White and Nerdy" anywhere around Sam, Daniel, or Rodney. They are quite vicious in their revenge.
c.) Do not play Weird Al, period. Come on, people. Do we have to start a list of banned music as well.
(No is quite sure when it happened, but the next time Thor beamed into the SGC, said song began blaring through the speakers. Thor was rather amused. General Landry, however, was not)]

[No Scottish member of the SGC is allowed to watch 'Braveheart' anymore.
(Apparently, the Scottish members of the SGC decided to get together and watch 'Braveheart', while consuming massive amounts of alcohol. Halfway through the movie, Sargeant Dunlevy got the brilliant idea that they needed to paint their faces blue. Unfortunately, the paint they used was a new compound the science department had concocted. The scientists assured General Landry that the paint would fade before a month at the latest and now all members that took part in the insanity are currently on lockdown until their faces turn back to their proper color.)]

Honestly, why did no one ever come up with this one.

[Never show Colonel Mitchell and Vala 'Farscape', EVER!
(What is the reason for this rule, DanielJackson. --Teal'c
(It might have to do with the fact that the main characters of John Crichton and Aeryn Sun bear a striking resembalance to Mitchell and Vala. --Daniel
(Holy, Hannah! You're right! --Jack)]

[Never flirt with Daniel Jackson under penalty of ** off Janet.
(He's mine. Back off. --Janet
(Apparently, at some point, Vala had returned from one of her planet hopping trips and immediately started flirting with Daniel once again. After several days of this, Janet decided to voice her displeasure at this with a right hook, that would put a seasoned boxer to shame, across Vala's eye. Vala still has said black eye and Daniel has been struting around the SGC smugly for the last week.)]


I hope you enjoyed those and I hope they help you in bringing out a new chapter of this soon.

honest to g-d this is one of the funniest things i have ever read. infact this is so funny in nearly wet my pants, note the use of the word nearly

*dies laughing*
*stops laughing*
*composes self with only a few giggles*
just a thought, but what about new members who actually know martial arts? or how to use various sharp, pointy, and ninja like wepons?

just a random thoght, :D
I love this!*needs to show it to the rest of the Stargate fan household*
update soon!

I hurt myself laughing. Seriously. And the reference to the Xanth novels was hysterical!

I just have to say, that this story is brilliant. I have an idea, though, so here it is.

)Would somebody please tell the Asgard to stop parking their ships behind the moon? NASA's getting suspicious.

)When confronted with human replicators, do NOT make any Battlestar Galactica jokes.
a)that means you, Teal'c.

)Lemon-filled fruit bowls. Forget it.
Rodney had been delayed coming through the gate one time with the rest of his team, and John ended up bribing the triplets to fill the fruit bowl in Rodney's room with lemons.

)In relation to the above rule, the triplets are NEVER to be given the following items: banana cream pies, glue, rifle scopes, and mortar cannons.

Hope these help. Thanks for writing such an awesome story!

Heya

OMFG I so totally loved this so far.

lmaowrotfd

I so could not stop laughing @ this.

keep up the amazingly brillant work.

can't wait to read more.

Violet44 x

I am not sure if you update this anymore. But after sitting and reading every last one of them (I started with number 1). It was very odd.. and yet very well worth the the new dent in my computer chair (You wrote a lot!)

Anyways, thanks for the laugh ^_^

And thanks for the Jedi song.. it was very funny ^_^

LOL! love floppy, she's the best!

one teeny weeny nit pick and then I'm done. #381, Anise couldn't storm back through the gate. The wormholes are one-way things. I'm fairly certain it would kill her.

cute!

HAHAHAHAHA! That "dammit Jim" was hilarious!

OMG i haven't laughed that much in like forever! lmao. i got one, don't let McKay or Sheppard know about all the fan fiction dedicated to them. while its funny to see Sheppard face got beet red, your gonna have to hide forever.

Oh damn! I've been looking for this story! I read it before, and thought it was absolutely hilarious! I love it. There's just too many to choose from as a fave though.

But its AWESOME! Thanks for sharing! :D

to bad they banned star wars: I can totally see vaders(sp?) theme(or the empires theme) playing when anise walks through the gate. the only bad thing is it would be more for a laugh than to get her to turn tail and leave cause she wouldn't get it, but everyone else would.