Hey this was a pretty good fic. I like the way you represent their innocence.

Your first published fic? I have to hand it to you, this is an incredible debut. One-shots tend to either be horribly simple, or send a powerful message, and you've landed in the latter category with a splash. Welcome, and I hope you stay!

More specifically on the story, I think you captured Cassie's character the best. It really seems very much like her to think of talking to Rachel, of trying to make everything work out for her. Rachel was done very nicely too, although the only part I'd disagree on is when she says she doesn't get a thrill from the war - I think from the original series, it's shown that she does. Then again, I'm probably being influenced by my own series in which I write Rachel that way.

The writing - I love you for spellcheck, for spacing, and for punctuation. They may seem like small things, but in all honesty, not enough writers bother to make their stories readable. You can have a great story, and not get any good feedback if you format it incorrectly. The writing itself was smooth, and I adore the way you mix description in with acting, allowing everything to flow together.

A really nice piece over all. Again, welcome to our community, and I hope to hear more from you, even on a personal level - your writing _is_ that excellent. :D

~KP

Eh, I thought you could have done more with the ending than you did. Too "regressive", I suppose: I guess I would have liked to find a way for them to balance their presents and pasts. Still, good work, and I hope you continue to write for this fandom.