Allow me to present the list of reasons I hate you:

1. Not one, but TWO nights when I stayed up until two in the morning reading this. TWO. I need my sleep, you know. (And don't you DARE try and say it's my own damn fault; you do NOT get to create something like this and expect me to exercise self-control. This thing NEEDS a warning label.

2. Chapter #21. Dear. God. I got to the latter part, put on "It's My Life" (a live version, just to make it hurt more) and I. Teared. Up. I don't cry, and I teared up. I HATE crying. And it's even worse because maybe five lines before I was laughing my head off. Rereading the chapter, knowing what's happening, I STILL laugh my head off, and I STILL tear up a paragraph later. I hate you.

3. Keeping us going over Dark for so long. That's just MEAN. You create this incredibly hilarious charming goof-off flaming adorable guy that you can't help but love, and then you MAKE US THINK HE'S DEAD for THAT LONG. I seriously thought you might be willing to do it. No. Just...GAH.

4. Cutting off the sequel. Or more accurately, cutting it off at that point. I mean, I understand, sometimes you just lose interest... but after writing a chapter THAT nightmarish, you have to post something adorable and cute and funny to take the taste of "Oh poor Dark I HATE THAT BASTARD HOW DARE YOU TORTURE HIM LIKE THAT" out of our mouths. That chapter is just tear-inducing.

5. Just, in general, being SO DAMN GOOD. Okay, that last one isn't really fair. Jealousy is a sin, and all that. And after all, I got an awesome fic out of it. But...come on. You can write something exciting, funny and cute enough that I read all of it and love it, and it's not even on the "right" installment of Zelda, (with a couple exceptions). (I was introduced to the Zelda fandom via Twilight Princess, and made my way here via a recommendation that didn't specify which installment, and by the time I realized that they seemed unfamiliar because they weren't quite the people I knew, I was hooked. But enough about me.)

6. The bumper sticker gag in the epilogue. (It's a long story, but I completely hate you for that little bit of hilarity.)

7. Even creating the character of Dark. I refuse to be crushing on not only a fictional character, but a fanfic character. (And a manwhore at that.)

Okay, now that the reasons I hate you are over with...

No, you weren't perfect. Good, but not perfect; your spacebar seems to have failed you at a few points, but the only real flaw is that you pro-bably shouldn't introduce a brand-new love interest for a major character in the very last chapter, especially not for someone who slept with someone else. I suppose you do have canon backing it up, but still; the rest of it rocks, but that one detail wasn't so good. Everyone's reactions were hilarious, but if it were original fiction you'd be generating a ton of fixer-fics trying to hook Dark up with Ralph again. However, don't let that detail discourage you, and you made up for her a bit in (what we saw of, and yes I'm still rather unjustly bitter about that qualifier) "Feel Good Hit of the Summer", both by indicating her personality and by Shad. (Love that crack pairing!)

Anyway, your overly long review is over. I hope you don't mind discovering a sudden review from something old, particularly one in this... eccentric style.

Haha, knew Ralph would fall for Nayru. 8P
XD ** epic. ^-^ That's my Vaati! (Squeezes Link and Vaati) Yay for my men. One ** evil as all hell and one a gorgeous saint.
Vaati: (Scoffs) I didn't know saints have mental issues?
Link: I didn't know villains wore all purple.
Vaati: (Smirks) Orlando Bloom.
-_-" I'm ignoring them.

My love is Bi! ^_^ Fine by me.
XD The Pirates comment had me cracking up. M, I loves me some Johnny Depp. ;D But Johnny makes everyone question their sexuality. 8D ANYWAY, I love this so far. I knew IMMEDIATLY who you meant in chapter 4-well, I did when you said that the chapter title had to do with it, but I presumed he had to do with the chapter in some shape or form before you said that-and I hope Vaati appears again. ^-^ Because I <3 Vaati, too.
(Squeezes Link) If you were gay, that'd be okay! I mean, cause hey, I'd like you anyway! See, if it were me, I would feel free to say 'hey! Guess what? I'm gay!' but I'm not gay.

I really didn't need tissues for this part. I'm immune to practically every emotion I can think of. I'll admit I'm weird. Also, you actually want me to rant about a character!? Sure! Ganon-dork is such a mother f*cking piece of sh*t who is a total *sshole who has to throw brainwashed people at you because he's too much of a ** to fight you himself.

I loved this chapter and I'll also agree with you on Zant, he was pretty badass in the beginning of TP, but after you beat him the dude throws a tantrum! I was like WHAT THE **!

An excellent chapter in this story. Not much else to say, but to keep up the great work.

Sheik's (or should I say Zelda's) ex is Vaati from Minish Cap and Four Swords. Duh! Also if you think I looked ahead chapters you are wrong. Still I enjoy the story and hope plenty of others do to!

I love reading this story and my guess is Nabs is Nabooru. Awesome story. Can I have a cookie for being such a good reviewer?

I read this story for the first time about a year ago, and there are now three things in this world that invariably make me think of Dark: Cold-Stone Creamery ice cream (duh.), Bon Jovi, and leather boots, preferably kinky-looking. (I own a pair! Buckles, laces, straps, AND about three extra inches of height. Pleather, though. :3) And I have to come back and re-read this every time I get Dark on the brain...

I knew it was Vaati...
Not the entire time of course...maybe about...a paragraph before reading his description.
Man Im slow...

*goes to find sequel*

LOLWUT
HAIR CEMENT = CLOUD
X)

Everytime I think of "sorority" and "black magic" my sad mind automatically goes to Bible Black.
I am a horrible person. ;__;

Nice chapter! So, were the three testers Link from Twilight Princess, Link from Wind Waker, and Link from Ocarina of Time?

"Oh, and if you know what the Bene Gesserit litany is, you're cool. If you have ever actually found yourself repeating it in times of stress, you're a nerd. Kudos!"


I've done this! :D

WOW! OMG AWESOME STORY :O You're the best author ever! :D

Lol, I loved Dark in this story. And Excaliboard. That was funny as hell XD And the fanart on DA was aweosme ^_^

Just a question. Your story: Breaker of Night, is it up already under another name or something or is it still getting written? Cuz I'm really anxious to read it :) Seems nice enough, plus with all the awesome fanart on DA about that story (something about Kicked up...?) Screw that ^_^

Awesome story :D Yo're truly amazing :)