 steelelf 2006-08-19 . chapter 2Catherine? No. Say it's a typo, please! It's not elvish, rohirric, dwarven, or even common! And I'm not even canon police! |
 KaleidescopeCat 2006-08-18 . chapter 1So is this supposed to be an AU, in that Denethor actually took the throne instead of remaining just Steward? If not, you definitely need to work on your knowledge of the books because Denethor is not, in fact, a king. He is a Ruling Steward keeping the rule of Gondor in trust for the king. Nor are Boromir and Faramir princes--eventually, Faramir will be named the Prince of Ithilien but that isn't until after the War of the Ring. At this point, it's hard to even recognize this as a Lord of the Rings story aside from the names of the characters you use; there's very little accuracy. Granted it's fanfiction, but good fanfiction (unless it's meant to be funny) follows the canon of the universe it's written in.
Canonical errors aside, you would also benefit a great deal from a beta reader. There are a lot of grammatical errors that distract the reader from the story... it would be improved tenfold with some simple grammatical corrections. |