A great story. Very good.

Excellent! Simple, yet emotional and meaningful. I think you captured Qui-Gon quite nicely. He's not always an easy character to get a grip on. Good work!

Aw this is so cute. Absolutely adorable! It completly captures the moment in that scene. I watched the Phantom Menace today for writing ideas and I was seriously thinking about doing this same moment, but from Obi-Wan's POV. ...Would that be okay?