Personally I thought you were rushing through this and using half thoughts to explain it you may want to make your next chapters longer and more thought out

oh wow! one of those sibling rivalires! lovely! i like it! i think its really kool! there are a few word mistakes but i cant complaine to much! my story does to! but you had so better post chapter two! lmao update soon!

mew mew berri (aka: the one and only Mary!)