That poor Pikachu

i hope Blackberry is able to find a 'chu in her pack that will heal the injured electric type

This story is growing on me... :D

I like your characters. Take Grey, for example. He's so fleshed out. I sympathize with him for having a mom who doesn't seem to understand what he truly likes, and instead keeps comparing him to his younger brother. That mental tirade was nice, especially: "They say I don't have the guts to be like my brother? Why doesn't someone ask if my brother has the brains to be like me?" What resentment! :D

As for Mrs. Arcenciel, her reactions to Lee's achievements border on annoying. Fawning over Lee + being repulsed by rodents = Mrs. Arcenciel. Ehehe.

Lee has a macho streak, doesn't he?

Just a little error (this is me being picky):

-"What have [you] done to your clothes again, Grey?!" Mrs. Arcenciel groaned, eyeing her older son's mucky shirt and pants with distaste. "Well, go change!"-

Oh, and I don't have to tell you that your sentence fluency is wonderful, right? :D Your prose is really easy on the eyes. Informative yet concise. I dream to write like you. I still have a tendency to weave unwieldy phrases, unfortunately. -_-

~Ryan L

Oh my goodness. A sad scene without any trace of the word "sad" written in it. That's some prose. :D

Seriously. Scenes likes these, taken under the light of the proverbial "Show, don't tell" can really draw readers in. And make 'em cry, too. I liked these sentences: "From where Syca stood beside it, the Pichu could not tell whether Blue Eyes's face was wet with pond water, or perhaps trickling tears." And "It smiled at Blue Eyes through its blurring eyes."

This one took the cake:

"Blue, you don't really mean any of that talk about leaving, do you?" the Pichu said anxiously, eyes growing even larger than before. "Even with Blacky gone and Zap around, you'll still risk staying here, won't you? Won't you, Blue?"

-Gets teary-eyed.- T_T

The politics, power play, and belief system in the pack are scary. I'm interested to know how their notion of Trainers and their Tamed being evil will affect the motives and actions of the pokemon characters. I have a feeling Blue may meet Blacky in the future and am looking forward to the possibility.

"The ugly gash on its forehead was bleeding down the side of its body, and its little head was hanging off the neck at a funny angle." This gave me chills. And to think there was no mention of "dead Pichu" anywhere.

I'm glad that Lee wasn't a trainer who was merely passing by and was never going to be heard of again. This means there's potential for his development as a character, and of course, more conflict. :D Will you be using him more frequently in future chapters?

I really liked this chappie. As they holler after concerts, "MOAR! MOAR!" XD

~Ryan L

And this is another example of your fine writing style. Gosh, I sure could learn a lot from your phrasing.

There is something... gripping... about your first scene. The first sentence alone is quite a hooker: "'That one never had a chance.'" Furthermore, a lot remains unsaid, and I find this effective for a first chapter. Already there are numerous questions: "What happened to that pokemon?", "Who is this 'young master'?", and "Is their use of a lab coat in any way related to what they did to that pokemon?"

The guy who stayed behind for a mini tete-a-tete was very real for me. He seemed the more human of the two.

"And a black-tipped ear gave a single twitch in the darkness." Nice ender for the first part. :D

Because of your adequate descriptions, I can actually name the pokemon you're describing before it gets mentioned.

Regarding your transition between your first two chapters, I initially thought that Chapter 2 was simply a continuation of the previous one, and that the scene would reveal Zap being scolded by Blackberry. I was surprised to find that it was already several months into the future. It might be clearer if you placed a note in the beginning of the chapter--woven into the story, of course--regarding the shift in setting. Such a considerable gap in time deserves fair warning; what do you think? :D

I enjoyed the battle. I've always liked battles that play out, those matches that I can really picture in my head. The part that really stuck to my memory was the battle with the Beedrill and its Pin Missile: "Several needle-sharp darts embedded themselves into the earth at the Trainer's feet. Even more peppered the ground of the clearing as the Dratini skipped forward, dancing its sinuous body towards the edge of the clearing." It certainly is more cinematic than: "X pokemon used a attack. Y pokemon countered with b attack."

Hmm... in the next sentence, if you want to add Zap's horror as an afterthought, an em-dash might be more effective (the long dash).

I normally don't read fanfics where pokemon themselves are the main characters, but... I think I'll make an exception for yours. :D

~Ryan L