 exocontinual protocols 2006-09-02 . chapter 1Very good. Poor Dairine :( I liked Nita saying that they didn't just watch, that was a really good line. One thing, though, you said she was dressed in a traditional Wellakh outfit, but I thought she didn't change out of her normal clothes when she went back to talk to his parents, there was even a line in there about the one person who could convince her to change being gone, I thought...but that's just one little thing. I really like it! It was all very in character and well written and just done vert well :) Bravo! |