I am very sad that this fic is over, but it ended on a nice note. You wrapped up all the story lines very well, and mentioned all the characters with a quick, but thorough bit. I fell in love with this and greatly appreciate the amount of thought and detail you took the care to put in. Lovely job, and thank you for sharing this!

Wow, this fic has absolutely captivated me. At first, I was a little put off by the OCs entering Narnia, but Elizabeth is a very well-developed and thoughtful character. This is a fresh idea for Narnia fiction - an OC entering Narnia that ISN'T Mary-Sue-ish - and it works! Great job, I am off to read more. :)

Aw, Hylonome is so cute! Her gushing over Oreius was hilarious!

I'm still loving the story. I've never read any like it before. I'm really glad there's a sequel, 'cause I want to read as much about Elizabeth as I can!

I love how feminist Elizabeth is! I'm also enjoying the metafictional-ness of it all. It's quite thought provoking...makes me ponder free will and how in real life we are all kind of characters in God's story (according to the Bible).

"into the face of uncorrupted Creation, into the central movement of the symphony God had sung to make the dawn of time."

So I've been mainly reviewing by quoting lately. But those are some of the things that have really got at me while rereading this story. Some are the same things that struck me the first time I read it - some are new, either because they really are new in the new version, and others because I only really noticed them now. There is more in this tale than to be got in one reading.

"the pride that had let the first Swanwhite die and Rapine be stone for a century reasserted itself"

Was Hedera responsible - or partly responsible - even then?

"“That’s yer Lion?” she croaked at the back of the Warlord’s head. He turned to face her.

“No,” he said impassively, as a sudden jolt of the ship knocked her to her knees, “he’s our Lion.”"

So He is.

"“Why are the readers so upset about her death? Why no mass outpouring of grief and rage at the death of those whose names they never learned?”"

Because the author knew how to play on our emotions.

"She wondered if Queen Swanwhite had had such a conversation with Hedera and Rapine a century before. She wondered just why Rapine had been stone and Hedera had slumbered for those ten decades."

So do I. I hope you write a story to tell us some time.

After you've finished "The Redemption of Sulva", though.

Ecce Homo.

"“Fear not,” said Michael, stepping forward with his hands peacefully open, “for I bring you good tidings of great joy.”"

On the Third Day of Christmas, need I say what this reminds me of?

"a broken and defeated saviour. At the end, you will scream your gods have deserted you"

Reminds me of Psalm 22 ...

This is about the summit of your metafiction, isn't it?
The characters know (at least one of them) that they are within a story, but THE STORY GOES ON WITHOUT THE READERS. Between the chapters, the story and its characters live their own lives. They exist even outside of the text. And in their own level of reality, they do.

I really like this philosophy ...

Nice job!

I like this, it Very Good. But I did Not like the end there, but then agen that is war.