A great story. Very good.

Excellent perspective on Susan's behavior post-Narnia! I admit, I do like a story that puts a different light on an often maligned character, and your story did this very well. Also, all the background was well thought out and embellished the main story well. Definitely going to look at your other works ^_^

this was a beautiful piece. a little meandering, but thoughts are often like that. I did lose faith in Suzan when I read about her being more interested in "lipstick" than Narnia. I did think her a traitor of the highest order. However, you have explained her turning away from Narnia in such a way that C.E. Lewis did not, and now I wonder if it is not Susan who is in the wrong, to stay planted in reality in that practical way she does, but the society that forces her to do so, or the original author who dismissed her case so easily.

just a final note: I was disappointed that she did not look more closely at the street lamp. if her siblings' deaths taught her anything, shouldn't it be that sometimes you need magic in your life, more so than reality? Instead, we were left with reality and possibly a lost chance to return to Narnia. Even if it is a realistic ending, I'm just a romantic that way. Just in my opinion

It's interesting to see this viewpoint of Susan. I quite prefer it to the series, as the "Lipstick and Nylons" comment seemed so shallow. This fanfiction seems to be a more in-character type of thing...and does a lot more justice to Susan.


(Sorry if this review is difficult to follow, it's rather late at night right now...)

I'm certainly no expert on the series, having read them a long, long time ago, but this is a beautiful and telling portrait of Susan, and the choices she has to make. Very, very lovely writing. ^^

[Once a King or Queen in Narnia, Always a King or Queen in Narnia...]

Oh. I have chills. Beautiful ending.

Even though it is through her eyes, Susan is still very much a queen. I though when you mentioned her name, that Aslan had come to her, and that she was to die at the graves, and fall back in to Narnia.. but it didn't. Tears welled up, but I didn't cry.

This story is like glass, a beautiful reflection of someone's face, their soul, but still.. so easily broken.

This is beautiful - you really captured Susan and her feelings.

wow...

that was really cool! very well-written, well thought out...awesome job!

BANZAI!
~hollybridgetpeppermint

p.s. i'm slightly confused as to when in the series this is set...

that was amazing. i loved it. it shows so perfectly how Susan's not really disconnected from Narnia, she just tried to put it behind her because she couldn't go back. it's the way i've often imagined. brilliantly done.

Oh wow, what an awesome story! It's very insightful, and your writing just flows so well. Write on!

I have always found the end of the Narnia series quite cynnical. Note the "Lipstick and nylons" comment he makes. It's as if Narnia represents the ideal spirituality to him, and all the modern world is just an empty void. Indeed, he seems dismissive of Susan at that point... I don't recall much of an attempt to pursue why she did leave Narnia behind.

Which is why this is so wonderful. It's a complex exploration of the motives and emotions of the Queen that turned her back on her domain. You've retained that sense of spirituality that runs through the original writing, all the idealism... and yet, you've tempered that with realism. Susan is not bereft of spirit... in fact, she's full of will and emotion, as demonstrated by her feelings at the funeral. Guilt for what happened, and yet, she seems to be putting that behind, not allowing herself to be weighted down by it. Susan seems to be finding her maturity, and coming to terms with it, but holding on to what made her a Queen in a magical relm.

This writing is, like all your work, an utter joy to read.

Wow... That was... incredible. You're awesome!

Very touching, and also verz convincing. So you make her be on the train with the others? Well I guess it's possible, the book naver sazs otherwis, but still - their parents died in that train crash, too, as well as Jill, Eustace, Polly and the professor - so this would make it some more graves, not just three.

This story is so beautiful... You have made me like Susan again, I didn't think I ever would. Really, it's so wonderful, the Narnia books have come alive for me again.
Thank you.

Hero