For my earlier review I may have seemed a little harsh but I stand by what I wrote.

I just read the rest of the chapters, hoping that the story would improve. I was wrong, horribly, horribly wrong...

Why would Turlough want to kill Nyssa? He didn't have anything against her from what I can remember and whilst her and Tegan were close I'm not sure they could be considered BFFs.

There is nothing wrong with having ginger hair! Some of the nicest people I've ever met have been ginger, my best friend is blonde bordering ginger! You also don't seem to have a particularly good grasp of genetics. If no one in a family has ever been ginger then unless some ginger genes come in then no one ever WILL be ginger!

Again your spelling hasn't improved, whilst at least you've realised that you've spelt clutching wrong you've used the wrong spelling of waist-waste refers to something leftover and could give the impression in that context that Turlough's mum had formed an emotional attachment to the afterbirth (If you meant it like that then it's just mean).

If Turlough is an alien from Trion (note the "I") then why would his parents be named Andrew and Rita, two very Earth-like names? Also Malkon is a fair bit younger than Turlough, they last met when Malkon was an INFANT.

Whilst I wouldn't put it past Turlough to cheat on a test it's clear that he has a high level of intelligence on the TV serials to be that sneaky. Again regarding schools Turlough was in a family with a high social standing so it's more likely that he was home schooled before he arrived at Brendon (I'll forgive you this though as it's purely speculation).

Again with the tail thing, where did that come from? Trion is described as a rather civilised planet, not one likely to persecute a young boy for having a tail.

Finally I doubt that Turlough's father would blame his son for his wife's death, in fact she was killed in the civil war.

To improve your fic I highly recommend using a beta to start and to use more canon n your stories. If you believe that if you receive flames then you've made it then you haven't and every time you say something daft like that someone writes a Tegan character-death fic.

D:
Words cannot describe my horror at the character rape you have just performed.
Whilst I can understand you wanting to let people know you hate Turlough, this isn't the way to go about it. I first viewed this hoping that it would be a character study, possibly examining why Turlough can be reluctant to help people and act cowardly. I was sadly mistaken.

To start with there was bad character development in describing the Doctor as "Sam on Quantum Leap", which to those unfamiliar to Quantum Leap or the Doctor, would not give them a very good idea of his personality. Secondly your spelling and grammar leaves a lot to be desired from the start; although mine isn't perfect at least it is usually better than yours despite the fact that I am THIRTEEN YEARS OLD!

The way you have described Turlough isn't accurate either, Turlough was manipulated by the Black Guardian under the pretence that he would be returned to his home planet of TRION which, contrary to your spelling is NOT a moon of Neptune like Triton. Also if you see Turlough as getting in the way of Tegan and the Doctor's relationship then why haven't you left mentions of Nyssa, Adric or Kamelion, who also travelled with the Doctor and Tegan?

Also, the Doctor (his Fifth self especially) doesn't tend to have biases towards his companions and gives equal time to them, particularly after he didn't pay attention to Adric who died shortly after.

As I move through the story I notice that you still see Turlough as trying to kill the Doctor-he stopped after "Enlightenment". Also I see you've described Turlough as having a tail. What. The. HELL!? If you've seen "Planet of Fire" then you'd be aware that Trions don't have tails, the short-shorts of the Sarns and Turlough's Speedos show this.

You can't just pick and choose what parts of Doctor Who you will incorporate into a story as you have clearly done-Turlough left shortly AFTER Tegan who chose to leave in "Resurrection of the Daleks". I like both Tegan and Turlough but prefer Turlough as he had wonderful character development and his snark worked well alongside a "nice" Doctor

Hopefully you'll take this into account for future stories but if you write more insulting stories towards Turlough then I will hunt you down and gut you, especially if you write anything like this for Harry Sullivan, Jo Grant or Steven Taylor.

Good luck in future writing,
Cthulhu

Well, you had me from the Quantum Leap reference. Canon based or not, this makes me laugh and your writing style even more so. Very original and rather humorous. :D

Kyer's a moron. The TV movie was from 1996, not 'the 1980's'. There is no story called 'The Mariners' and there is no 'The' in the title of 'Mawdryn Undead'. Also, it's 'An Unearthly Child', not 'The Unearthly Child' and 'Enlightenment', not 'Enlightment'. Ignore that snotty know-it-all who obviously does not know as much as he tries to pretend!

This is your story. You write it how you want, and more power to you!

Oi. Turlough was royalty that was kicked off the planet when the populace...oh, forget it.

Okay, for those readers wanting the actual facts on Turlough, the Fifth Doctor, Tegan, Nyssa, and any episode specifics from The Mawdryn Undead to Enlightment (the Mariners) or for that matter from The Unearthly Child to The Runaway Bride and possibly beyond:

http://en.

Or go to the BBC website where they even have picture galleries.

"...he's never naked so you don't know!"
Um...again, *coughs* you really, REALLY need to see more of the whole show before making statements like that. Like Spearhead from Space (Pertwee), and the 1980's tv movie.

Um...how old are you?
Yellow blood is a hallmark of cowardice?
Turlough has a tail?
Do you commonly villify people you don't like based on first impressions or do you wait to get a more rounded view?
Just how many dvds of Doctor Who classics with Peter Davison have you seen to have cast Turlough in such an deadly light? Enough to know about the Black Guardian? How he is blackmailing Turlough? Doubtful you've seen The Mariners or read a synopsis.

No, I'm not a miffed Turlough fan. I'm a Doctor fan whose only companions I personally cared for were K9, Jamie, and Captain Jack. The others were bores or so-so in my book.

Still, I'll try chapter two, but you should put Silly Fic, or Seriously AU in the Summary or a beginning Author's Note.

Glad I put you on author alert. What can I say, I love this story. You're doing something different and I have to see what happens next.

I have red hair. I hate it! I've been teased a lot about it and I wish I had blonde hair instead, so much prettier. Oh well, I kinda agree with you, the red hair can be a bad thing to make people not like you. Like this one guy I liked, I thought he liked me back and he was always looking at me from across the room like he was smiling, I asked my BFF to see if he liked me. She came back and didn't want to tell me what he said, finally I made her and she was like 'He's laughing at you, not smiling, he thinks your hair is so ugly.' I wanted to die! So I stopped looking at him, I was so so so so embarrassed. And red hair makes you stand out too much, my parents can always find me in a crowd or whenever I don't want them to. It's worse if your hair is kind of orange like mine, yuckiest shade in the world. I'd dye it if I could but my mum would kill me. Maybe I should go bald!

That was so sad! Aw.

LOL! Go Tegan! Kick his tail!

Very clever of the author to add some backstory. Evidence of Turlough's evil nature is necessary in a story of this kind, and it does provide good motivation for Nyssa's departure. I hope more is written because it would be quite interesting to learn of future battles between Tegan and Turlough. I appreciate the fact that Tegan doesn't always win, because it's a realistic approach and true of life in general.

Greatest. Fic. Ever. True, it isn't the most technically proficient, but the author's purpose is strong, clear and incisive. Admirable idea!

Actually, the Third Doctor has a shower scene in one episode, I think it's Spearhead From Space. Clearly, no tail. In the Eighth Doctor movie he gets left in a mourge with no clothes on and has to wander around dressed in a sheet. Clearly, no tail (someone would have noticed!). And Turlough? Well, Planet Of Fire again. Wet shirt + speedos = no tail.

I'm curious. How old are you, exactly? Eleven? Twelve, maybe? I refuse to believe your profile, where it says you're twenty-five. Because if you're twenty-five and write like this, then... well, I must apologise for my earlier reviews. It isn't nice to mock the intellectually handicapped.

Some ** was posting on LJ about how bad your story supposedly is. She should talk, she mostly just writes crappy ** anyway. I think your story was cool even though it can use some corrections to spelling and grammar. But your idea is original!