Great :)

I liked that you could take bits from the book, and add your own parts in to show Jon's perspective: it was familiar yet different and i thought it flowed well.
Very cute!

Intersting premise for a story, though I think it would be all the better if it didn't follow the sence word for word in point. That was from Alanna's point of view so Jon would probably be noticing different things, like small details of what color her dressing gown is. The odd style of paragraphing was a bit jarring as well, though I can tell you were trying to emphasize certain parts but it left me confused on what was supposed to stand out.

" A fourth cup of tea was pored and Thayet..."

I do believe it should be 'poured'.

Overall it was a nice, somewhat fluffy read. ^^