Cool story:)

You really might want to consider Metatron saying something of affection like, "Darling" or something because they are after all together.

Is Carman beautiful or plain-looking. If she isn't then you might want to lie and say that it is because if she's not Metatron deserves a bit more than that.

The story's good, but to the person who said Metatron was a bit out of character, I agree with that. Its kind of a nice "out of character," but I think what I'm missing is the *sarcasm*. Overall, nice job. : )

I liked this story!

I have a question are you an Alan Rickman fan?

That was cute, and sad. I liked it. Really good

Hey,

Now, I don't want to sound mean, and this had a really great idea of a plot and all, but I must say i don't think this is working. You're rushing along and leaving far too much out! 9 months can't pass in one chapter when there is so much more to be said, it just makes the story seem rushed and careless.

Tell me o mind my own business if you will, but may I suggest a rewrite? Go into more detail now you have your story mapped out.

But they guy who said it has a good point, good going for trying to write a Metatron Story!

Love

Rene

cool story, glad I finally got around to reading it! hehe!

I think this was great, i mean i actually was able to fallow it, but i still like the jurassic park one better.. :-p haha.. your a talented writer

Yeah...yeah, I just don't see that. Not that the idea isn't cute, but Metatron just really doesn't seem like the type to want a child. He always seemed like the type to not really care about anything, you know? What I want to know is why there aren't more fics about Azrael around. I mean, yeah, he's dead, but then again, so are Bartleby and Loki, and there are tons of fics out there about them. Find some way to incorporate Azrael and maybe I'll continue...I mean, I love Metatron, he's my favorite character, but he's just not really in-character here and I find Mya and Bethany's daughter extremely annoying. But congrats on writing a Metatron story, I do owe you that.

not bad..but how about some explaination about why Bartleby and Loki are still walking the Earth

Just to say, thankyou for the good reviews. Im re-writing the end fight scene again. It just went to quick so I'm trying to make it better!

hey i loved it can't wait till the sequal till then laters

Oh how cute get more out soon!

A nice lil story, write more please!