oh my god...that was so kawai
holy poop
i dont knw why, but i think i n kurenai hav lots in common,cept i my frndz ddnt save me frm the hyuga. neva mynd

Zeesh esh kyute.

Awesome, a rare introspect on the enigma of Kurenai. I'd say that she was OOC but the fact is we don't know that much about her and the way you crafted the fic I could easily believe that she was like that a child. So once again great work.

~Black Saint

aww!

"And from that day onward, they were never, ever apart"
It's cute.
-great job!
-Dani

aww
that was cute
i liked that
[=

That is so cute!

Aw, cute!

Very, very nice. Charmingly written. Keep up the good work!

Awesome. I nominate this story to be the basis of the Asuma/Kurenai Gaiden that Kishimoto now owes his Asuma-inclined readers, thanks to chapter 328 of the manga.

The thematic control of this piece was solid from the beginning. Establishing Kurenai as a smart, somewhat ambitious kid worked well; it gave you a lot of freedom to add complexity to her thoughts even if she's a child. The peppering of italicized vocab words was equal parts funny and effective.

I forgot that this one-shot was done in the style of a fairy tale by the time Asuma entered, and I was thus caught off-guard by being privy to Asuma's thoughts. The only inner thoughts expressed in the story were Kurenai's, and revealing the thoughts of Asuma near the end - though consistent with the story's narration - comes as a bit of a jolt. I know Kurenai's not the narrator, but she feels like it by the end. This is a really minor, minor, nit-picky kind of comment though...I'll be the first to admit it's probably a reader (not a writer) kind of issue.

Aww, that was so sweet! ^^ It meakes a lot of sense, andI love the personallity you gave Asuma! It's adorable!

you put a happy smile on my face. This story is as beautiful as "falling" (your other kurenaixasuma fic), i always love kurenaixasuma pairing. I hope this pair will be canon =)

Wow This was pretty good - no it was better! :D And I really like the end - with Asuma and all :)

Good story. The "fairy-tale" style of narration was a bit different (it's difficult to do and I think you managed pretty well), but the basis of the story made it work. Kurenai is bookish and this fits with her personality. I like the small details: how Kurenai might be picked on because of her odd eyes, the snotty Hyuuga boy, Asuma not wanting to say his family name.

you are my hero. truly. I loved this, the detail, the backstory, the inclusion of Asuma at the end, beautifully done. Very, very informative for a one shot.

Hey, great oneshot. It was emotional but not overwrought.

I'll be honest with you, I did skipped the 6 paragraphs that were 'strikes' against Kurenai. Thought that it was just too much detail, and didn't add to the story (but it did add to her background). This oneshot's strength was the action, what was happening and what was going on in her head. Descriptions of Kurenai herself came off as weak in comparison, and 6 paragraphs of it, after the intro was a description of her life year by year was a bit much in my opinion

Once it got back, story was cool as hell. I was very surprised by Asuma being involved in the story. But he played a cute part. Ended the story on a good note.

Again, good job