Reviews for The 14th Warrior

Reviews For: The 14th Warrior - Reviews: Page 1 of 4

honey-senpai 2008-07-09 ch 9,	abusei am soo sad i just started to read this and i love it a cant believe you would loose your train of though hopefully you will write and update when you can (your on alert just in case too)
Misha 2008-06-07 ch 4, anon.	abuseOkay. I have basically the same complaints as the person who complained before me. And then some. First of all, I really really really really really really doubt that Alishia would call her brother "Ibn," mainly because Ibn means "son of," as was clearly stated in both the movie and the book. She would be much more likely to call him Ahmed. The Northmen called him "Ibn" because they didn't understand his language. Secondly, Northmen looking sober is. . .an oxymoron. (: Northmen don't not drink (beautiful sentence) unless they're going into a serious battle. A funeral is usually cause for celebration rather than sobriety. Also, you should note that it is WULFGAR, not Wolfgang, which is rather a German name than a Scandinavian one. "The 13th Warrior" is a sort of "eye-witness account" (in the words of Michael Crichton, the author) of the myth Beowulf. You've totally bloodied the story, mangled it, and thrown it into a river to die. And then defacated on its corpse by saying there were fourteen moons in a year, and also that Northmen would allow a woman to be a warrior. "Herger the joyous" is also very incorrect. In the old language, Herger MEANT "joyous," so you're basically saying "Joyous the joyous." . . .Friends with the princess? ojeez. I don't even want to get into this one. And, just for clarity, it wasn't Buliwyf who called him "Ibn" originally, it was Herger. Okay, again with the names. Repetition isn't good. I mean, Crichton wasn't being particularly creative when he came up with them, but. . .And the tattooed fellow is Weath, right? Just making sure. Also, the five days is way too fast to learn a language completely foreign to someone. I know in the movie it seemed that it was only a few days until Ibn learned the Northmen's language, but if you read the book (currently published as "Eaters of the Dead") you will see that originally, Ibn did not know any of their language, and Herger's translations were the only things that helped him understand what he was told. Ugh. You need a serious history lesson. Kohl. Kohl. Not eyeliner, my dear. Kohl. And. . .basically you're taking Ahmed Ibn Fadlan's story and just inserting your character, making her seem like a veritable god by only giving her his heroic or otherwise noble deeds? . . .A harold? You mean a herald, my friend. "I would usually take this opportunity to argue that age and sex has nothing to do with a person’s ability to fight." Jesus ** Oden. So, I'm going to hand a four-year-old a sword and he's going to fight with it, eh? And sex does matter, because, simply put, estrogen has nothing near the effect on the body as testosterone when it comes to battle. Again, a mussel is a type of shellfish. A muzzle is the snout of an animal. Two last notes: 1. This isn't a bad review, nor was the one before mine. It's a critical review, which is technically the best kind, because it helps authors improve. 2. This is to the person who posted a review before me, though I doubt they'll read it: the legend of Beowulf supposedly took place at A.D. 922. . . .A couple more notes: 1. I hunger for some Herger/Buliwyf slash. . . 2. If you ever want to read some more 13th Warrior fanfiction, my username on here is Mikhail-Misha-, but it doesn't seem to be working right now. . .Dx 3. My e-mail is
Alaenor-Skybird 2008-04-10 ch 1,	abuseI have just read chapter one. And I am not planning on reading any more, until you get you basic sentence structure and historical facts straight. Blow by blow, my thoughts on your story go something like this: Suewriter: "My mother was a gypsy from the North. Not a Celt, or a Viking, but an Englishwomen." Me: That is the most historically mangled sentence I have ever had the misfortune to read. First off, Romas, (not "Gypsies" you motherfu*er, that's a racial slur) would have been spread throughout Southeast France, Switzerland and Germany, and much of what is now Southern Poland and the Czech Republic, as well as Ukraine and Romania. Romas were only rarely in the British Isles until later centuries. (I'm taking a few liberties here, as I have never watched the full movie, but I'm assuming it takes place during the first crusades after the first wave of the Black Plague hit Europe. They're the most popular, story-wise. So, sometime in the mid-1300's.) Second, The Romas are unique racial group, and are no way anything related to the English. (Get the basic facts right, please. Some of us notice. I rattled all that off pretty much from memory.) And, in case you're wondering, the Celts are a tribe native to England. The mother might not be full Celtic, but if she's from England, it's almost guaranteed she has some Celtic blood. Vikings are Danes. Yes, they're not English, congratulations, but they're not a race either. They're a type of warrior. Please, at least google this stuff before you post. Some of us have the brains to notice the mistakes. And unless the mother was magically more than one person, that should be written "woman". Suewriter: "I was initially raised by my mother, but she died of an illness when I was 15. Thus, my outspoken attitude, Christian faith, and ability to wield a sword." Me: They would have beaten it out of you with a nail-studded belt. And then forced you to marry some guy twice your age. And if 'yo momma' dies of plague, they wouldn't have let you within a mile of them in the first place. And how did your mother, another woman, teach you how to use a sword in the first place? Magic? Women were stoned for that. And I mean the sword-weilding part, not the magical bit. Suewriter: "My father and his wife opened their doors to me. They allowed me to worship as I pleased..." Me: No. No. And also no. Why the hell would your dad want his bastard, half-breed, wrong religion and disgrace-to-the-family kid back after 15 years of never even meeting her? She's just another mouth to feed and then marry off. How did he even know she was who she said she was? And they wouldn't let her be Christian. They would want to save her soul, and save their family from humiliation. Public stonings of family members are never good for a man's reputation. (exaggerating a little bit here.) Suewriter: "There, I discovered he had married a noble women and had a son; my half-brother Ibn. His real name is really Ahmad Ibn Fadlin, but I always just called him Ibn." Me: Let me guess: The main character. Ah, the long-lost sister Sue. Such a lovely plot cliche. Suewriter: "He taught me how to read and write. He also taught me how to ride horses." Me: My dear, this was called the dark ages for a reason. NOBODY knew how to write. Except priests. And I'm guessing her brother wasn't a priest. And no man with any pride in his family, love for his sister, or respect for her reputation would encourage these horse-riding, sword-swinging hobbies of hers. (PS: Short, choppy sentences = awful writing.) Suewriter: "They were North men. I had seen some in my younger days in England, and their image stuck with me. I knew a bit of their language, but Uncle knew it fully. He would be the one to translate." From the time you were born till you were 15, you never learnt to speak English? Although, you did call them Northmen. Which to a reasonable person would imply Russian, maybe, or German, but you did call the mother a Northern earlier. Also, today "Northmen" is generally written as one word. Suewriter: "...those who have actually laid eyes on my full face have either called me an angle, or a demon." Me: Hmm... You have, unintentionally, written something quite interesting. My first take on this sentence: Spelling error. This is also the most likely explanation. But the Angles are actually another tribe that once lived in present day UK. England is named after the Angles, in fact. (They had an interesting sort of apartheid relationship with the Celts, actually.) So I'm wondering if you are comparing the English/whites to Angels and the Middle-Easterns with devils? I find the stuff writers put in subconsciously very interesting. You don't happen to believe Iraq really did have WMDs, do you? But then again, it probably is a typo. Besides, you don't even know who the Angles are. If you were published, though, (shudder*) I would've had a field day. I will also now give you the link to a very helpful website. Use it, be completely honest, and your writing may improve. (no spaces) h t t p : / / w w w . s p r i n g h o l e . n e t / q u i z z e s / m a r y s u e . h t m Have fun writing in the future. Never fear, I will most likely never review again. Alaenor-Skybird, signing off.
ArticAngel 2008-04-06 ch 9,	abuseI really love this story you have going! I hope you'll continue in the future!
Orochi Miho 2007-12-31 ch 9,	abusePlease continue this story! It's very good!
THE DEADLY ANGEL 2007-11-18 ch 9,	abuseThis Is A Really Good Story So Far You Can't Stop Now Please Plz Please Write More Plz
Michelle 2007-10-23 ch 8, anon.	abuseLoved your story so far. I hope you find your MUSE soon and con't writing.
Angel Eyes CK 2007-10-06 ch 9,	abuseAW! I got so tied up in this story. I understand your loss of inspiration though. It happens to me all the time with my art. I truly hope you can find some inspiration for this story. I watched the movie today on 43 and I had to see people's imagination on the subject. This is certainly a wonderful story, I can't wait to see how you put this odd couple together. I wouldn't have thought of putting Weath and your OC together, I like it a lot! :)
vikinggirl 2007-09-03 ch 8, anon.	abuseI don't know if you changed it deliberatedly or just never notised but that little boy had his ears cut of, that is why he was holding them
vikinggirl 2007-08-29 ch 8, anon.	abuseI hope insparartion hits you hard vary soon, couse I love your story. the sidhe belong in scotland though, then again the vikings did take over england( or glose to it), but still...
amandine 2007-07-26 ch 9,	abusehi, are you sure you can't write the suit? I loved so much the idea of a weath romance and I wanted so much to read the suit. Maybe inspiration came back? amanda
lexxygoth 2007-06-26 ch 1,	abusei luv dis it is wicked i like de way she rants
Anonymous 2007-06-23 ch 9, anon.	abuseHey, this is a really great story and I hope you don't give up on it. It ROCKS!!
In this world live all worl... 2007-06-22 ch 9,	abuseIt's damn shame but i will be waiting until the fan fic fairies visit you (that's what i call getting inspiration!) x
Suzy87 2007-06-19 ch 8,	abuseI just read the story again. Yeah! I'm crazy and I also search the word "Sidhe" and I found out it's a ancient god. And a beautiful or hideous one, of Course Ali is "Breath Taking". I just remenber the scene in the movie where Ibn makes a sword and thought that the scene will be great between Weath and Ali. Please write more or at least try and add it to the story and after we can say if it's god or bad. I'm not the only one how would love to read more. Update! If not, Thanks Anyway!

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