That was so cute.

And really well written.

Unlike others i have read that were really unlike Edward and Bella would ever be.

And what about the venom in his mouth when he kisses Bella?

I don't really get it.

But other than that amazing story.

D

X

X

That was very good. It was tasteful too, I've read some fics that made me want to vomit after reading. But yours was exactly the way I envisioned Edward and Bella's first time to be. Good Job!

i like it but its it AU or something? cuz the whole reason they had to avoid the... intimate stuff was because of his venom. Hm, well I liked it like I said, but that one part threw me off.

I like the story, its really good! The only thing that I didn't like was that you went from them being in the meadow to them being in a bed, and at the end you went from edward having thoughts to like they were speaking to each other. I really did like it though. It's probaly better than mine is going to turn out.

Hi. This is so cute. ] I don't really know what to request, because I just like how it's going. ]

Tilly

that was beautiful!

that was so good.

i loved it!

I just have one thing to say: I LOVED YOUR STORY (it was mostly a one-shot but nonetheless) and keep it up!

wow that was beautiful, as is everything edward and bella!

ok... so that's really sweet and good writing, but i think you wrote the end bit for someone or something else. this isn't a bad thing, and i like the poem-y feel to it but you might want to go over it again. for example, it's hard to tell who is speaking at first as you expect Edward, but then you give away that role so we realize it's got to be Bella; mostly cos you describe it from a girl's perspective, not from Bella's. also you brought them to a meddow so what is this about a bed? "feel the bed giving slightly under us" so maybe cut out the sheets too? and one final thing, as it is clear it is from a girl's perspective, you might want to edit out the whole "Your warmth excites me" and "your hot breath on my face,". either that or give the perspective to Edward.

good luck!

That was great.

I loved that story! you should make one more with them in it )

awsome keep writting love it )

"...but slowing down about 10mph in any case."

I'm guessing you mean 100 mph?

Thumbs up on writting style.

Wow that was a great story.

I loved it actually.

Great detail!