|Reviews for Little Trouble in Takeya's Life|
| Guest 11/13/12 . chapter 1
,,,? Who's the blond dears? Its good but wished it was longer
| Guest 10/30/12 . chapter 1
suspense cant wait for the next chapter
| azeroth5 10/15/08 . chapter 1
hmm good fic for now i wonder who is the blond girl though and by the way since when did Ren got the idea that men wore dresses .
anyway please update soon !
| takeya-yoshino 5/16/08 . chapter 1
| Felling 12/17/07 . chapter 2
| Perentie Fan 9/20/07 . chapter 2
Definitely nice writing and you capture Ren's combination of lust and innocent cuteness quite well. However the chapters are short and appear to skip important details that make one wonder just what is going on. For instance why would missing breakfast make Takeya not eat for 22 hours? What made him leave the house for two days?
A disclaimer such as "a week earlier" at the start of the second chapter might have been needed to help the reader understand that the second chapter seems to take place some time before the events of the first chapter.
Lastly, due to their bond with the "Gift" Ren and Takeya can sense each other to some degree. If Takeya disappeared it seems likely Ren would search for him and find him eventually, unless she was ordered to remain home or expected him to be gone for some time. Even then she might do her own thing as she tends to regard remaining close to Takeya as more important than even following orders. But that's partly just my own opinion.
You might also want to clarify for readers just where in the series your fanfic takes place. Is it based mainly on the anime or the manga? Do you plan on having it not be limited by the canon storyline?
| Alucard180 8/24/07 . chapter 2
a little short but not bad
| The Unknown Alias 8/23/07 . chapter 1
(Marks another day off of the calender and stands with the other readers.)
You know we're waiting for you.
| Kalis-nin 6/24/07 . chapter 1
Okay really out of character, I hope that you write this fic longer and more descriptive detail to the characters. Even if you take your time to update to write this abit better I am sure it could turn out to be a diamond in the rough.
Just work on it a bit and think the characters through and add a good plot with plenty of believe-able twists and you could have a hella damn good DearS fic. that people would read and review by the truck load. Hope to see more soon.
I am alerting this and faving it too.
| PrincessAmy-and-Blueberry 4/20/07 . chapter 1
this is good so far...update plz!
| greysky-chan 12/24/06 . chapter 1
hey, UPDATE SOON, KK? AND MERRY CHRISTMAS!EVE!
| Alucard180 10/25/06 . chapter 1
its not bad, bit is to short write some more please
| Perentie Fan 10/20/06 . chapter 1
Cute, though a little short and I tend to think that even Ren would know men don't wear dresses. She's learned a lot about Earth culture from watching TV (for better or worse results).
| Siyo 10/11/06 . chapter 1
Not bad. update!