"I remember Sitka like I remember finding arthropods in my bedding.-oh, lovely. scientific similes are always the best."...the mirror-like water, with it's various vantage points...-its is a possessive, it's is a contraction... you know that, but it's (ha ha ha) just a pet peeve of mine, child you HAVE to fix it!"...but...gack! It's like a web of sunlight!
I noticed this story was written long years ago, so I won't say something about Jedi not being allowed to marry, although I kind of just did.

and finally, if I wanted to be really picky I could say you start too many sentences near eachother with secondary clauses, thus"Lost in his efforts, Minot did not realize..."Rocking back and forth, she tried to withdraw..."Unwilling to back away, Minot pressed forward... but I don't. That's splitting hairs. And anyhow there's plenty who don't use sentences like that at all, or only that sort, and you only did it in one or two spots in the whole piece. So there. the ending might be a little abrupt, but for a short fic, who cares? I will get to your other stuff eventually, because I like reviews and I bet you do to. and I apologize if I'm too harsh I did kind of choose an old fic, and most people's writing gets better with time, so. there. bah.

Ahh.. I love it. Romance yet no detailed, well you know what I mean. It's cool. Do you think I could post your fiction on my web page? Curious. *Ku Yonghai*