not even Jackie will stop him. squee!!

you really shouldn't worry too much about your spelling for now, if its understandable, which it is then does it really matter? Good so far, the shorter lines work well.

Oh be proud of what you write! its good, and jackie slaps are funny, dunno why i just find them funny. go on then update it!

I don't want to be mean, but there's a big difference between being a 'grammar freak' and at least using the caps lock button when needed.
Really, you'd get a lot more people reading if you did.

LOL sweet. You could add a bit more description though.

Love it though honey, keep going.

Lou X

It's nice

That's good, and it had more detail so yes. I think better than the last chapters.

SG

I think you need more detail in it. It looks like it is written as a poem.
But good simple plot.
SG

Nice, now why is there evil laugh, something bad happens?
SG

Very nice. Simply written but nice.
SG

Not a grammer or spelling person either, don't feel too bad about it. Good story on the whole

Lol. Very sweet.

Cant wait for the next chapter.

Odd but nice.
SG