| Reviews for Tea's Knight in Blue Armor |
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kingofthenobodies 11/21/09 . chapter 9This was an enjoyable story, but I've just got some helpful tips for you. I don't claim to be a good writer myself, but I still try to give other writers feedback. Anyway, like I said the story was good, there are just a few things you could improve on to make it better. First off, the story might flow a little bit smoother if you didn't move through the events so quickly. For example, all the events of chapter 1 just seemed to zoom by a little to fast. It's sometimes good to slow down, and go into more detail describing the characters emotions or their setting before moving on to the next major event. You still told it well, and I never had to wonder what was going on, but the story might be more enjoyable if there was more detail in the descriptions and the dialogue. Speaking of dialogue, there was only one thing that was actually confusing in the story, and that was the characters conversations. It's usually best to skip down to the next line whenever another character starts talking, to avoid confusion. Otherwise, the reader wonders who exactly is doing the talking. I noticed that you were usually pretty good about saying who was talking, but it's still a good rule of thumb to use a new line for each new bit of dialogue. As I said earlier, this isn't a bad story. You clearly know how to write, and there weren't anywhere NEAR as many grammatical mistakes as I see in other stories, so I'm not even going to worry about that. The dialogue was generally good, and the plot made sense. I just wanted to give you a bit of friendly advice, so don't think that I'm criticizing anything. You're definitely on the right track, so don't get discouraged! Keep up the good work! |
Princess Kiski 3/23/08 . chapter 1You are a writing genius. I worship your work. Okay that was creepy. |
Pierced Eyelids 7/6/07 . chapter 3You need to space out the paragraphs more. It's good and all but hard to read. |
MagikDragon 3/25/07 . chapter 9This was a really cool story I love happy endings |
Lady Nefertiti 1/11/07 . chapter 9Great fic- First chapter was really sad. Update soon. -Silk worm |
Jessica Watsuki 11/2/06 . chapter 9Aw what a cute and sweet story, I really enjoyed reading it. It was a lil fast-paced, but hey it was a nice change from some of those really long really detailed stories, so not a bad thing. Tea and Seto r the best couple _ Thanks for writing this great story! |
Saiya-jin Queen 10/24/06 . chapter 9OMG I almost cried while reading this. You did an awesome job on this story. Keep up the great work! :D |
Girl Writes Romance 10/15/06 . chapter 1I knew it was Kaiba! |
Sinclair-Clair 10/15/06 . chapter 1You need to learn how to write. You know form sentences, use figurative language, paragraghs, and to edit. You need it badly! |
r0gue lebeau 10/14/06 . chapter 9That was so sweet! Are you going to make a sequel? |
kags181 10/14/06 . chapter 9that was great! |
dragonlady222 10/14/06 . chapter 9Great ending. |
dragonlady222 10/14/06 . chapter 8Good chapter. They will be so happy. |
dragonlady222 10/14/06 . chapter 7Good chapter. Some people are just big jerks with no sense and nothing better to do than insult others. They are just jealous. |
dragonlady222 10/14/06 . chapter 6Poor Tea, I'm glad Marie was there for her. I hope she makes up with Seto. Good chapter. |