That was a good story, without the whole kiyone as a second wife thing. look that idea is gay and there is no way that tenchi would ever say or even propose that thought.

Cool! COntinue!

A nice romantic fan fiction. I would be interested in reading more of this especially Ryoko giving birth, god that could be funny! I would also be interested in seeing what you would write up on the character of Sasami. Other than that this is one of the few romantic fan fics that is not only welll wrtien but told ion good taste. Excellent portrayal of the characters by the way and an interesting style of writing it all from Kiyone's point of veiw. Brilliance through and through, bring the rest of story _!

After getting your e-mail this is the only Tenchi fic that I even thought about reading. I like Tenchi and all but I have a strange taste of wanting to see Tenchi and Kiyone together. So I am distraught. Tenchi and Kiyone are togther but with Ryoko to. I like this fic to a degree. The one thing I didn't like was the length. I just feel like there should have been more. I like longer and more in depth fics. You like strange pairing huh...well check out this fic I found. It was the one that got me into reading fics in the first place. It is a Tenchi/Kiyone fic and it is very very well done. The characters are near perfect to the series. There is lots of comedy and romantic stuff. There are lots of episodes and they are mostly pretty long. The only problem I have is that it was never finished. There are a few new characters but they are well done and definately no self-insertion. Check it out...it is only at this site sadly: .

Back to your fic though. The story is set up in an interesting way. I like how you started in the middle went to the begining and the continued to the end. I sadly never got to see Tenchi Forever. I only saw the first 2 movies. I still enjoyed it though. You need to work on your action scenes though. They just seem more complicated then they need to be. I had to read that little battle with Tenchi and the assassin twice to get the idea of what was being expressed. Though that is a little hypocritical seeing as I write action scenes poorly as well. I know how it is...you get a really cool little battle in your head but when it comes to typing it it just doesn't come out quite right. I think this fic Ok but original in its own right. Before I go I will give my resoning onto why Tenchi and Kiyone should get together.

To understand my reasoning you have to look at all the girls in Tenchi's life. They are all extremes of the spectrum...sort of speaking. Ryoko is the wild one who just wants to have fun. I think she can be a little insensitive to others feelings though. Ayeka is the rich little miss prissy princess who is too stuck up. She is like Ryoko in reference to others feelings. For those two their love for Tenchi is probably just a result of their compitition between each other. They probably don't truely love him. Sasami...if you think that Sasami is compitition for Tenchi's love you are a messed up hentai. She would represent youth. Washu, now there is an ugly mental picture. I doubt she has those feelings toward Tenchi though. She would be the smart one. Mihoshi is the dumb but beautiful blonde. She probably doesn't feel that way toward Tenchi anyway. Finnally we come to Kiyone. She is just a GP officer who is stuggling through life with a dim witt partner. She is the middle of the spectrum. Plus, I think she has those feelings for Tenchi but is too caught up in her work to realise them. Now I could mention that other girl from Tenchi in Tokyo but I dislike that series. Besides she is the sadow of a little girl from Jurai. That in itself is a messed up relationship.

I must admit at first I was confused but curiosity got the better of me so I kept reading. I found that this was a very entertaining story with a very different plot from other, even others that you yourself have written. The two girls that Tenchi had picked in this one were a different pairing that I had thought of, but after reading it I thought, "Well why not?" I really do like this pairing and I might attempt it in one of my stories, but if and when I do I will send it to you first to see what you think as you gave the idea to me. I am not one usually for reading in a script format and if I can avoid it I will, but the plot and dialogue kept me interested and I had to see it to the end.

Loved ur story! I hope u continue it! _* _*

That was nice. let us see what you have up your sleve next (_) Ja-Ne.

Hahahaha! And you said mine was bad? HA! You may think you have the characters perfectly, but they're off even by the slightest bit. And in all I say this SUCKS!

That was nice.

Very interesting! I have always thought in the back of my mind that Tenchi's two best options for a wife were Kiyone and Ryoko, I just haven't yet found way to get the three of them together! Bravo! if you ever need any ideas, my e-mail account is never too full. contact me anytime, you rule man!

Eh, it was good. Your'e getting better at this. Keep it up!

its good i guess. nice plot but u wrote it in a kinda confusing way

Good, young grasshopper. You shall continue your Training under my supervision. Some spelling mistakes. It is a tad confusing. Other than that, It is Kawaii!