|Reviews for Finding You|
| Xeora 10/20/06 . chapter 1
All right all right, I'm reviewing. All because dear Axel needs his Roxas. ;D
But on a serious note, this IS a good idea and all that jazz; you seem to know where you want everything, but (yes, I know, I hate these too XDD; ) you seem to have a lot of interruptions. An author's note is good, if it's at the BOTTOM of the page. If you need to explain something a little more, just put a symol or number next to it and put a definition at the bottom.
You also seem to be adding a lot of your own thought into it. That's not necessarily a bad thing, however. Its just that the narratives should be telling just the story and NOT the writer's thoughts.
The Demyx and Zexion bits ARE cute, but they make the story awkward. You seem to be jumping from one thing to the next. You also gave the impression that this was JUST an AkuRoku... so I guess you understand my confusion?
TO THE GOOD POINTS AND NOT MY NITPICKY... D':
I love the idea, it was really good. I always did wonder how they found Roxas. X3 Its cute that Axel found him! I always thought he would be the one. D Anyway, I hope this review was of any help to you and your future writing. If you feel you may need any help, you can send me a message.
This wasnt meant to be offensive, so if I hurt your feelings, I'm sorry. ;
| kris126 10/20/06 . chapter 1
ADD MORE! I NEED MORE! and please add some Larxene-Marluxia too-i like that pairing.