it was really good i liked it to the end*ashley*

“It’s ok, I know you would never cheat on me.
Ouch! Miyu must have felt lower than dirt when she heard that. Anyway good ending for the story I liked the use of the eternal dream world at the end for Miyuki and Natsumi.

Well I see that this chapter was certainly inspired by Sympathy for Lady Vengeance, with the toe cutting scene. Good job, thanks for the update I look forward to action scenes in France next chapter. Got to go the Jade Empire beckons and I must answer.

this is so nasty they are not gay

Interesting development for the chapter, I wonder why is Miyu avoiding seeing Himeko? And the fact Himeko was a peeping tom at the end of the chapter was sort of amusing if kinda sad... if Himeko does have a crush on Miyu as well.

A skillfully written chapter, I enjoyed the character interaction between Miyu and Larva, especially when Miyu told Larva that her love for him was on a platonic father/older brother level. In addition I also thought Shinna teasing of Miyu about her relationship with Chisato a nice touch. Well looks like my reviews are caught up. Thanks

Chapter 10 was a well written and developed chapter, I enjoyed the look into Chisato’s thoughts and emotions in being left behind while Miyu goes off in her mission to seal off the rogue Shinma. Another excellent plot point covered in this chapter was the fact that Miyu haven’t been feeding and results of her actions was also covered in this chapter. Keep up the fantastic work.

Excellent character development chapter, at last Chisato is showing signs that she actually loves Miyu instead of lusting after her. I particular like the fact that Chisato wanted to fight with Miyu however it was Miyu who insisted that Chisato remained safely at home

Ok so now they are in exotic Ibiza, yet Chisato still haven’t yet demonstrated that she loves Miyu instead of lusting after her. Instead of wanting to fight with Miyu in order help protect her against the other Shinma’s, Chisato is content to wait at home until Miyu comes home. After three supernatural beings is better odds that two.

Reiha! I was wondering if she and Matzukaze was going to show up in this story. Excellent plot development with the love triangle. After looking up where Ibiza was I agree with Chisato, she and Miyu should go that Mediterranean Island of the eastern coast of Spain.

As a reader I enjoyed the chapter as a sex scene chapter, and as that it was well written. However (yes more hopefully constructive criticism) as a writer I have to say this chapter did little to advance the overall story. A yuri or any sex scene can and often is used to reaffirm love, however you did that in the last couple of chapters and scene after sex scene without plot advancement simply become porno. It ok to have lots of sex scenes but weave it to the main plot and advance it but do not let the sex scenes BECOME the plot.

Another well written chapter, and it looks like Larva is back in the running for Miyu’s heart.

Love the ending of the chapter, superb job in building suspense. Keep up the good work.

Ok now Larva realizes his feeling for Miyu.
Good yuri scene, Chisato certainly lust after Miyu, but the question remains does Chisato truely love Miyu? After all love and lust are two vastly different emotions. And if I my play the devil’s advocate... it’s seem Miyu forgave Chisato awful quickly, maybe I just read too many Rei/Jadeite (sailor moon) fanfics but question remains the same there as well as here. Can you forgive someone who murder you (or tried to in this case) and let them into your heart? Now that I am done playing the devil’s advocate... goes and wave a Chisato/Miyu flag.

Another fantastic job capture Chisato’s emotions in what appears to her to be Miyu’s rejection of her in Chapter 1. Then follow by Chisato and Miyu reconciliation by ironically by Yukari grave. Love Larva’s thoughts at the end which incidentally foreshadows a Chisato/Miyu/Larva love triangle.