Good concept, but poorly written. Try running it by a beta next time?

This is what should have happened. I would have been so happy if the book ended like this. Good job:)

Okay, interesting. really good, but two things. First, Meridion has the power of time, and probably would even if Achmed was his father. Second, you got the word right, but it's not thrawl, it's Thrall. and yes, it's capitalized. always. still awesome.

o i finally got to read ur story.

my computer was being REALLY stupid and wouldnt let me read ur story...but its working now

DANG ur a good writer!

well keep up the good work

cya at school!

I love it! I always thought that Achmed and Rhapsody were good together. Your writing style is really good to. Great job! On a side note its spelled thrall not thrawl. But other than that I didn't see any mistakes. Im rereading the series so it is fresh in my head... anyway keep up the good work1

Hmm. I'm torn. It's so no-troubles happily-ever-after, which

I usually hate, and yet...it just makes me feel so warm and fuzzy inside...or like I had too many sweets and am gonna be sick. I can't decide.

OOC, but Achmed is one of the annoying characters who refuse to be anything but near-impossible to write (I would know) so that's okay.

Oh, and it's "the Thrall." It's an actual word in the English language meaning, well, 'bonded servant', 'serf', or even 'slave', depending on the nature of the servitude. To hold someone in thrall can either be meant literally (Hello shackles!) or figuratively (to captivate, to bend to one's will, to dupe, to make a mindless minion, etc.)

Chances are, when a Fantasy writer appears to make something up, it's actually grounded in existing language and myth.

Well, thus ends the English lesson. In the end, I think I like this oneshot, and it is for this reason: Meridion's character, from what I saw in the trilogy, -would- be more appealing as Achmed's child.

Thanks for the read,

-B.W. Buterfly

cute.

ive always wondered what life would be like if achmed and rhapsody were together.

but i still love ashe. :]

hee hee

[and, its thrall]

Ahh, I see what you meant about Achmed being out of character. Well, everything else was pretty good. You should try another and keep him and her in character! Oh, by the way, thanks for reviewing that Halloween fic, even if it was a YGO one. You don't really need to know the characters and plot of YGO, huh? Anyway, keep it up!