well dang that's sad, good chapter

IB:Good chapter villians are misunderstood.

The wait was definitely worth it! :) This chapter had all the best parts in the move in it, and it was fun to read! I liked when Mojo's narration slipped into Mojo-speak for a paragraph or two. :)

I noticed a few times you spelled "conscience" as "conscious". I know you know the difference, but you might want to re-read your chapter once or twice before posting it so you can catch those mistakes. (I've re-read things five times and haven't noticed mistakes like that until the chapter's online, so I know how easy it is to slip up on stuff like that.) ;p

Oh, and I loved how Blossom stuck behind to talk to Jojo the night before "the big day". I think it's silly to think that Blossom didn't get very attached to Jojo when they were buddies... they just had too much in common for Blossom to ignore. :)

Hope to see the next chapter soon. :D

God, i love this story. It just plays out in my mind like a movie. Please don't take another year to update, i've been sitting in front of the computer for the past three and a half hours, since i forgot the plot. Out of curiosity, will the end of the story be at the end of the monkey take over, or will there be more? Like, will there parts for other events, like when mojo got powers, the Rowdyruff boys were made, the fight with Him when they came back or even something small like when the girls lost the baseball in his house.

Later dates and times,

Dark-Dogs

WOW!! this is really well written!! I'm amazed how detailed it is. Good job!! I can't wait for the next chapter!! :)

Epic win.

Going on favorites.

I LOVE Mojo Jojo.

Miss Dracori,


That was a pretty good chapter. I'm really rather medically on the lesser end of the scale of condition, and I'm supposed to be asleep, but I couldn't help but read and review this next chapter to the story. The point is, I'm going to have to make this rather quick.

Your grammar was missing a few commas in places where they would make sense, but are not necessary. You also made a typo, spelling "ran" as "rant." Otherwise, it is good.

I liked the way you showed the chapter, and Mojo's interaction with the girls, particularly Blossom. The intelligent conversations they had with eachother were quite entertaining.

I can hardly wait for the next chapter to come up! When it does, though, you can expect me to review it as soon as I can!

Well, with that, I'm signing off for now.

Until next time, Miss Dracori!


Signed with Humility,
Itanu the Author.

Yay, another chapter! Nice job with filling in the blank spaces that weren't in the movie. Your dialogue to movie dialogue flows very well and if I didn't know the movie dialogue so well I wouldn't be able to tell where one stopped and the other began. :)

Looking forward to the next update!

Wow thanks for the reply !!I dont have an account here so sorry about the anonymous business 0_0 !
Anyway I read your fic and I dont know how or why, but I am starting to like Mojo Jojo eventhough I saw him only twice in the Bleedman manga and a lot in that game( and he is more annoying than I.R he throws and puts new bricks and can fly with his gadget thingy I.R just throw coconuts at me from a window). I didnt watch the original cartoon =.= I should have !
In the Bleedman manga He made him look too evil that why I hated him in the start but now I see him as a victim of life ! I like that ! And I was just curious thats why I read the first two chapters ! sorry about annoying you !!didnt mean too

update soon !

um !!I have a question !! Why do you like him that much ?? I mean the monkey guy !! He is funny to me when I play the (Brick it) flash game(he is the most annoying of all other monkeys even I.R Baboon is not as annoying as him ) on cartoon network website but thats it !! Y ou seem to be crazy about him !!

Um sorry I am not a big fan of villians especially when they look like a crazy green monkey but good writing skills.

O, a new chapter already. Sorry, didn't notice. Anyway, it seems to carry on how I was hoping, so great! I may review it properly latter, but got to go now. Sorry.

I think I should start this review with a quite note. You have clearly tried to write a proper story here, so I am going to try to give you a proper critics review. Most of the comments will be highly hypocritical, - often, I will be more guilt then you of the suggested crime. However, I feel in a strange way, you deserve it, and I hope you will see this as a compliment to the story. So, in the interest of balance…
Right, first things first, it is beautifully written. In fact, if I could spell a word that praised the writing itself to a fuller extent, I would use it. I think I spotted one typo in the entire thing, which must be a site record. The writing style is quite meandering, almost peaceful at times, but I like it. The only thing I missed in the writing style was the lack of “Mojo speak,” but I accept that is hard.
The description is epic too. Every location it described in perfect detail, so it was really easy to build up a picture of each location. That is something I really admire in a story and a writer, and I think on that front, many professional writers could not do better (and I mean good professional writers.)
Now for what I consider the most important part: the plot. I must admit, my biggest worry when I decided to read this story was that (considering the reviews you have given to others) you would be so concerned about grammatical accuracy that the story might feel dead. Perfectly written, but lacking character, if you know what I mean. I must say though, that that fear was unfounded. Your heart and soul shines through this story, and I respect that. Which makes me feel slightly guilt about what I’m going to say next. In a way, your strong writing abilities work against you, because if this story was full of spelling mistakes and plot holes, I would be less harsh.
Anyway, for the first few chapters, I think two words best spell out my feelings. Oh dear.
It was very predictable. From the start of chapter two, I knew Kojo would die. I knew his mother would die. I knew he would be captured by poachers, and dragged away. Low and behold it happened. All very well written I’ll grant you, but I was expecting something more original.
When the man “laughed manically” in the apartment in chapter 4, my suspension of disbelieve was broken, and when he met the feisty female monkey Zola in Venezuela, I was certain I was reading a rejected script from a Disney film. All the characters where stereotypes, (I mean, Eduardo – the name says it all,) the portal of man fell write out of the “Fox and Hound” movie, and the comedy was typically slapstick. Sure, there were some deep felt emotions in there too, but in a way we’d been through it all before. He abandons Kojo, then he abandons Zola. His mother dies, then Rudo dies, then Zola (effectively) dies, and finally Kashka dies. Through it all, man is evil and heartless without exception.
This might have been fine, I mean it was all beautifully written, but through it all, the classical moral weight that comes with this type of story was bounded around relentlessly. Man is evil. Hunting is evil. The continuous parallels to slavery, which is evil. Animal testing is cruel, heartless and evil. Its not that these messages should not be spoken about, but it was all done in such an obvious way, just like the, say, anti rape stories on this site. I know it’s unfair, but you writing and obvious intelligence led me to expect better. I mean the line Zola says,

“They look so docile and peaceful, but when you’re face to face with them…they become blood thirsty monsters. How can that much hate exist in their hearts? Why do they seem to find so much enjoyment out of watching us suffer?”

Is pretty much typical. We can see the humans are evil, so why say it? It might be better let the reader think for themselves for a bit.(As an aside, I must admit, I don’t know whether in America the messages you are trying to get across come up much but here in England they are rammed in our faces all day, so I must admit they become tiresome.)

With all that in mind, I shouldn’t have been surprised when global warming came up in its typical one sided way, but I was. Because by then, the story had become much better.
Gone where the stock characters and repetitive story arcs, and finally, we got to see Mojo start to develop. I felt the story was on much firm ground and for the first time it was enjoyable to read. Mojo’s autobiography may be even more self pitying then David Blunketts, but now he’s got off the heavy stuff and on to how he developed from an innocent yet scarred child into an evil lunatic, the story becomes entertaining. We even got some Mojo speak!
I’m glad of that, because I though I was going to have to leave this saying that after all your obvious hard work, all you’d managed to do to me was exactly what the laziest, ppg/rrb hack can do; make me feel bad about being human and male. But low and behold, once free of the need to make political points, you have come up with a gripping and revelling look into another angle of the movie. I will be reading on (something I didn’t think I’d be doing at chapter 6) and hoping to see more of your obvious writing and story telling talent, and less of your political/moral lecturing.
My apologies once again for the hypocritical nature of this review.

Well, what can I say? This chapter only further cast Mojo into the sympathetic light. It's hard to think of him as a villain, even despite his longing for revenge. I mean, he honestly thinks that he will make the world better. And I can see why, too. Poor Mojo just can't cut a break! :(

Excellent chapter, looking forward to the next one. Mojo/PPG interactions are always great. :D