Why didn't you include Negi-Axel in here? This could have been grade A work, but I'm left feeling that it lacks something. Negi-Axel is the cornerstone of Kingdom Hearts fanfiction. With such accessible characteristics as lime green mind control gogo boots, black hair, and red skin, Negi-Axel could be the plot twist no one expects in your story. Such lovable catch-phrases as "Wha' Happen'?", "Shouldn't mermaids have nipples?" and "Roxas is gay" could serve as the alternate viewpoint to your story. Let's not also forget Negi-Axel's prowess and affinity for ballroom dancing, and his days as a bathroom attendee on the Dope-** Disney train. This would grant your fiction some much needed culture and liveliness. In a recent internet poll link Negi-Axel was voted the most popular Kingdom Hearts character of all time. With the kind of fan base this popularity generates, your story's reading audience could increase ten-fold! I find this story to be well written and insightful, but without the true star of Kingdom Hearts, I am left awanting. I strongly suggest you address this unprecedented error, to the respect of the only character loved the world over, and held dear to billions: Negi-Axel.

Aww! That was so cute!! *huggle* I loved that!