I liked it. It's one of those sad stories, with a heartbroken protagonist, an unrequited love and no hope to change anything... my favorite type of angst/drama.
The idea was good. You didn't need to kill anyone, everyone (except Ran) seems happy to the outside and it's a scenario that could happen if 10 years passed.

Ayumi and especially Ran seemed very well in Character, Conan didn't show enough emotions to let me judge if he behaved like he (or Shinichi) would have in the series. Very well done.

I like the ending, too.
A sad ending, sure... nothing changed, only sadness remains. But it would be strange otherwise.
Yours is realistic.

Maybe I am a bit prejudiced (It's my favorite typ of Angst/Romane and it's Ayumi/Conan, my favorite pairing...) - but now you know there is at least one person (and probably a lot more) that liked your story.

Not bad. You should check out my first story I did not too long ago. I haven't gotten a review for the 2nd chapter, and I'm really hoping for at least one or two, or three.
--Mathew