Soo funny that I couldn't stop laughing LOL!

yes you change pov too often and the narrator pov is just too confusing, and many time interrupts the flow of the story. I know u have already completed this story but just for future reference.

another thing that bothers me, ur mentioning of brand names, its very...there really is just no reason to include these things its very ooc and it just seems very vain

Your story is really slow and it makes me want to read another fanfic. There is no hook, but I continue to read for some reason. Your story is blan, and there is no surprising events and no spices. Sorry that I stated it bluntly and it sounded rude.

I rather like the story idea, but the way it's written kinda confuses me. The Narrator POV is just one of them.

I like the story line. I really do, but some parts really bug me. It's a bit weird that you keep on switching povs, or just use really insignificant descriptions. I'm talking about the brand names. I can totally imagine Draco wearing Armani and whatsoever, but Hermione or Harry really aren't the type in my personal observation and opinion. I'm not saying you're wrong or anything,its just a bit OOC, in a different way. And you sometimes describe Hermione and the gang as some sort of extremely awesome socialite gang.. or whatever you may call it. It's a bit disturbing for me to think of them like that. Their life is like a...GAH! It's really hard for me to put in words... Just.. those things seem so trivial. They somewhat look a bit shallow?

Overall I liked your story, I like the plot and I actually read the whole thing. Thank you for writing this and thanks for giving really cool recommendations. :)

P.S This is not a flame. I'm simply voicing out my opinions. OPINIONS. And am critiquing your work. Please don't take this the wrong way.

Oh. My. Gosh. This story was breathtakingly amazing! I couldn't stop reading until the end...and I don't regret it at all by clicking on it. You are now one of my favorite authors, and I can't wait to read your new stories. You are an amazing writer, and I am willing to get an autograph from you when you publish a book. (If you do that is :3) I loved it! 3

i'm terribly interested in the new story, so expect a review there soon, but you have been cruel. very cruel. mr maybe is an awesome story and it hurts to not know the conclusion :( saddobby

I can tell you are a great writer and that this story will be a good one. The only thing wrong is that you mentioned things like Harry always dressing in Gucci t-shirts and Hermione having a chanel bag... That seems really OOC. For one, while Harry has a fortune in the wizarding world, he would never be able to buy muggle clothing lines because of having to live with the Dursleys. THere is no way they would ever let him buy that clothes or him sneaking off, buying then, and getting away with it. Also, why in the world would Harry bother, or care about wearing Gucci shirts. I am sure that it would seem the same as any $5 shirt to him. Hermione having Dolce and Gabbana and Chanel is more believeable but still odd. While Hermiones parents are dentists and probably make good money, it is doubtful that her parents would allow her to spend that much money on clothes and bags, or for her to want it as Hermione has never played much attention to clothes and it seems an unlikely change.

Don't get me wrong; the story has a good plot and strong writing, but that Gucci and Chanel thing really bothered me...

Keep writing!

Oh my gosh, I simply love the narrator. Well done.

Awesome :)

i know am reading this too late..but what can i do... I love reading Dramione..and as much as i love to say the love the Narrator's point of view... you never fail to entertain us...i love this story already...

3 Love 3
Maddie.. :D

i give up on this story .. i did like the idea when i read the summery but the writing style is the only problem from me.

i do not like the whole first person POV and then suddenly switching to the 3rd person pov narration. i'll try and see if this story is worth reading

Nice twist. :)

I love this so much! Exactly what I as looking for to read. It deserves more reviews!