nice...i laughed at the beginning...so funny...i love how u describe about the dog! so cute! u are a great writer, if u must know that...plz write more awesome stories in the future!

You can write well and can express the feelings of your characters effectively. But I think the essence of the story was not delivered that good to the readers. But this is only my opinion, maybe Im just slow to understand,. haha anyways, I think it will be good if you add a few more chapters and describe what happened next to shin after he entered the oedo clan. thank you for sharing your story. God bless and good luck to your future stories.

wow, great story! would there be perhaps a sequel for this , in where SHin attained his rightful place in the Kuroda clan? (dramatic i know) anyway great story! :D

well written. nice ficlet thing.

Like it :D

This seems much more like a first chapter than a one-shot. Not a lot happened, not much of a point was made, INSTEAD you wrote a pretty good set-up. It's a shame it's going to waste...

if you ever get the urge to continue it, I encourage you.

YOUR STORY WAS GREAT I HOPE YOU GET TO MAKE ANOTHER AND IT WILL BE A GOOD AS THIS ONE!(GOOD LUCK)BY THE WAY WHEN WILL THE NEXT STORY COME.

that was pretty cool although i can't imagine shin joining the ooedo clan (or any other yakuza for that matter) he just dosn't seem to be that kinda kid

Yayy! This is nice! I like the story and your descriptions of their feelings and events - I can vividly see the scene as it should be. I also liked the way you associated/displayed their emotions through nature (ie. "it was hard to see in the darkness but the clouds outside had shifted being carried away by the wind and the light of the full moon that was uncovered behind the curtain of clouds was finally beginning to enter the room by an open window"). ALso, you managed to illustrate their characters well; I especially enjoyed how you told bits of the story from Fuji's POV.

THere are few grammatical errors that you should correct though.

I loved this, really. Will you continue? Please, please do! I'd be ecstatic!

i liked your story but i wish it was longer please do not send any thing to this e-mail adress it is a frinds thank you!

cute! update more!

hey this fic is pretty good please update soon, I really want to find out what happends next heheh!

Aw! but there needs to be more shinkumi!

aw its a one shott! its a good ficc whyy one shot! evr condisdr updatin n makin a few more chaptrs? lol...considr! i luvdd it!