Oh, by the way, I must add- This is very good, for being written by a Pirate :-P

JACK! lol. Sorry, I'm rather hyper. Sitting in Intro just bores me and I need some way to get out my energy.

Good luck with the whole rewrite suggestion ...

Kat

Uh ... Some of the things that Flame Rising said were true, in a way. For example, when writing multiple dialogue, proper english teaches that you don't have it all in one paragraph. How does this have to do with Chocolat again? Um ... it seems that it has to do with CHOCOLATE but I don't really see how it has to do with, you know, Johnny Depp's movie...

Uhh ...

I think that perhaps you should try rewriting it, and practice using proper fundamentals of English. Do not quit writing, but please- rethink how you're writing this story.

Good luck,

Kat

aww i thought it was really sweet and cute how the little girls were dancing with little boys...good work, hope you review soon, and thanks for separating the paragraphs. :p

like what your writing, not many people have written about chocolat so just keep up the good work.

hey keep up the good work!

that was great! hope you write soon! :)