Reviews for My Immortal - FanFiction.Net

Reviews For: My Immortal - Reviews: Page 1 of 6

moosemix 2008-06-07 ch 1, anon.	abuseYour KharlxRath is just amazing. This pairing is one my secret obsessions & this fic was just prefect to feed my obsession. If you ever decide to write more KharlxRath fics, you can def. expect me to be there to read it. XDD I am totally in love with this fic.
sinful ang3l 2008-03-03 ch 15,	abuseout of all the fics I have read in this fandom, this is (by far) my favorite. vampire!Kharl is wonderful
Turtle Kid 2008-01-04 ch 15,	abuse. . . Well, I finished this, finally! I mean, I sort-of finished this. I'm reading so many stories that I haven't finished, but have started, and I really should go and finish all those library books, too, so I'm actually a little surprised that I got around to this now instead of later. . . . But I am deeply, deeply sorry for taking so long. Yay for endings! And thank you for writing!
Random Irony 2007-11-19 ch 15,	abuseFluff... sweet fluff... purrs Ah! That was good! I very much enjoyed your story, that I did. applauds you I only berate myself for not having read (and reviewed) it earlier. slaps self You're a great writer, some parts were described really well and it was always tinged with humor. And Kharl/Rath, of course. ^.^ I'd critique it more, but it's over already and other reviewers seem to have already said more than I ever would anyway(coughSarehptarcough). I suppose that's all I really have to say...so... bye! wanders off
Random Irony 2007-11-19 ch 14,	abuseOh noz! Rath has killed somebody! ... Again! :O There were moments throughout the story that reminded me of The Vampire Chronicles. Have you read them? Did they inspire anything in the story? Well, if not then it's probably just mutual vampire-related ideas. One more chappie to go!
Random Irony 2007-11-19 ch 12,	abuseAh, this was where I stopped. I never got to the leemmoonn...! I read some of the first bit and then I guess I left to go do something and never got back to it. shamefaced cough Yeah, well. Drama galore, eh? I'm wondering how this will turn out, Rath being... different now. On to the next chapter then!
Random Irony 2007-11-19 ch 11,	abuseNope, scratch what I said earlier, I distinctly remember reading this chapter (it's not hard to forget such a scene ^.~). I agree that it is a tad cliche but TOTALLY necessary. XD
Random Irony 2007-11-19 ch 10,	abuseAhahahaha! Kharl makes me laugh. XD Yes, that's all I have to say for this chapter...
Random Irony 2007-11-19 ch 9,	abuseHmm... I think this might've been where I left off last time. Anywayz, I really like Rune's personality. It really suits him. The part about "I was a balding old businessman when I bought it" made me laugh. XD Though his sudden interest in Kharl is interesting. I wasn't expecting it. In the beginning I expected him to be more attracted to Rath and jealous of Kharl. I'm glad that Kharl isn't giving in to Rune, even though he was probably so pitiable at the time. T.T I woulda consoled him. XD Anywayz, off to the next chapter! Tally ho!
Random Irony 2007-11-19 ch 5,	abuseEhehe... Hi. waves After being prompted by Leeayre to review her story, I figured it'd be good to go review all the stories I've read but didn't review. XD I'm soo laazzyy... So, yeah. I read your story a while back (actually, it wasn't complete at the time that I read it, so it would seem I get to finish reading it now! Yayz! XD) It's very good, very cute! Kharl/Rath is sweetness. Nothing constructive to say really. Your chapters are all very well written, a couple random basic mistakes here and there. I think there was one spot where you used present tense where it should have been past tense... umm... I think I'll just skip ahead to the next chapter now! XD
Ronin-N-Gang 2007-05-11 ch 15,	abuseKharl should’ve just picked him up in the first place. Yeah but it fits more that Kharl forgot ^_~ I can’t wait to read more of your wonderful stories!
Ronin-N-Gang 2007-05-11 ch 14,	abuseOMG I’m a chapter late! I’ve been so busy lately that I haven’t been able to get online in days -_- and now I’m so far behind on stories, I don’t think I’ll ever catch up… "Please don't tell me he's another of your ex's?" Kharl held out his hands in a guilty-as-charged gesture Just how many ex’s does Kharl have?!? He must’ve been some sort of pimp… Going to have to go into work soon so I hope I'm able to finish off the last chapter...
Dark Angel Rath 2007-05-07 ch 15,	abuseI love the ending, it was cute. Althou I'm sad that thats the end of it. Im satisfied. Graet job I loved it. :)
Sarehptar 2007-05-07 ch 15,	abuseI am conflicted. On one hand, I'm not sure I liked the way Kharl handled finding Rath had killed someone. For someone who was so concerned with Rath even stepping foot outside of the house to see his friends, he was somewhat nonchalant about finding out Rath had killed at they would have to leave the country. Simultaneously, Rath, who was always willing to shift the blame and get angry earlier in the story didn't seem fiery enough about the entire thing. Perhaps I'm just not used to seeing Rath internalize issues other than his own demonic nature... In either case, I feel that if you were ever to do a re-write of this story, I would appreciate more of the characters' thoughts. I want to know exactly what is going on inside their heads, as well as what shows up on their faces. Occassionally, showing only what they ACTUALLY will show is useful for developing an air of mystery or a one-sided scene... but I think, particularly here, parts were missing. I needed to know exactly what was running through Rath's mind when Kharl spoke to him--how exactly in all made him FEEL. Leeayre will tell you that I am obsessed with making my characters express emotion, and maybe I am just bias. But I really do think that adding a bit of focus on the internal states of the characters, the ways they think (in relation and opposition to the ways they act), would definitely add another dimension to your writing. It doesn't even have to be something like "he felt". It can be as simple as the patio scene I loved from two chapters ago. I loved it because it wasn't just Rath on a patio. The description there pointed to his own feelings. How relaxed and peaceful being outside in the warmth made him. You didn't need to say it, it just came across. I'd like to see more places in your writing where the action conveys the deeper layers of the characters' emotional and mental cores. Okay, I will stop now before you feel criticized or think I'm crazy. XD Like I said with this chapter, I was conflicted. Clearly, there is more going on that is on the surface. Rune was too willing to get them out of the country. Kharl was too ready to leave. All the things underneath made this chapter an interesting read for me. (Or perhaps I simply read too deeply into certain things...) Where your characterization really sparkled, for me, was the last scene. When Rath mentioned his horrible accent and was afraid of speaking English, it was a perfect interjection of his naivete and his childishness. Instead of expressing his fears about everything going on around them, he chooses to voice the smallest and most insignifcant. That says a lot about who your Rath is. The ending parts where Rath becomes serious are also perfect for catching both their characters. So yes, conflicted. All in all, it was not my favorite chapter. But I did appreciate the way you brought everything back together and your characterization in the ending scene. And I'm so sad to see this go! Get to work on the prequel and sequel! QUICK, QUICK! Okay, review reponse reponse reponse reponse: Ew, Eragon. Are you serious? I hate that book with a burning passion. Sorry. And don't you worry about Fallacy. As long as you are reading it, I am more than happy. XD Hee hee, Kharl and Silk. Me and Turtlechan PWN that pairing! Kharl/Silk was my non-yaoi Kharl shippage before I moved onto Kharl and the Star Princess. And yes, Kharl/Star Princess is pretty much as crack as you can get. But hey, this is fanfiction. Cloaks makes Kharl/SP make sense, just like My Immortal makes Kharl/Tetheus sensical. I do like Rim... just not really with Rune. Rim Kaana would be cute with Saabel. Or shifty eyes Fedelta. Fedelta is my love. I love him almost as much as I like Kharl. If I ever write anything in the DK fandom after I finish Cloaks, it'll definitely be about him. Yes, going back and re-reading the chapter, I agree. I suppose they did just know not to push it. I suppose it just seemed awkward to me because I don't think people would do that in real life. And Thatz... Thatz is sneaky. He pries into everyone's secrets. I can't really see him letting something like that go. shrugs You've got to write it like you've got to write it. And having to explain Rath's vapirism to them would have been a big hassle too. Anyway, I have a feeling fanfic is going to cut this review off because it's so big already... Good-bye My Immortal! I look forward to everything else that comes out of you Shiro! Much loves, Sareh
Chizz-muffinChik 2007-05-07 ch 15,	abuseaww its over! oh well! the ending was very bonnie and Clyde esque...they're running off together! fugitives in love! how romantic and sad...por Rath. im glad he at least has Kharl with him! and good thing Rune is around to help them cover up the whole mess on the home front! thats god. well it's been an interesting ride i must say! and i've enjoyed it very much! i hope they find some happiness in their new lives in america! although i know it'll always be tough for them...you kno, immortality and all. but im glad they're gonna be together and all that mushy stuff! yay for love! Awesome story btw! god times...good times

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