Awesome story! But there is one problem: You need to separate the sentences on what the characters are talking. I mean the members wouldn't be able to follow what the characters are saying when they're in paragraphs in your stories.

Just some advice for you. ^^

must...read...more...continue!

Learn how to write stories please...I am not bashing you, I am simply saying that this could of been better for people to read ok?

Sayonara,
For Now At Least,
Jedi Lord -Author-