Wonderful.

Aw - this was really a wonderful story! Great job and I really enjoyed your Mary and the other sisters as well :)

I just realized I had not placed this story in my favorites, not it is =)

aw! that was such a cool story. the whole "meeting in the library w/o seeing eachother" so romantic! haha, i sound like kitty. and that was sweet that her and her father patched things up. in your face mrs. bennet, mary snagged a marquess!

=) I loved your story bummer no wedding and the after party the life afterwards that would have been hilarious and wonderful to read BUT thank you for coming up with the idea and all those wonderful chapters...i truly felt destroyed when she ran off or about to marry that other fellow BUT you came in and made it right oh that was just postive giddiness

well wherever you are, thank u

aw, that was so good! i love the story, even if i disagreed with some parts.

Great story. I really enjoyed it. I am glad Mary did not have to turn into a goddess in order to find love or be taught any skills or refinement.

I do hope your new beta has a better grasp of grammar than your last. The grammar in this fic is atrocious. And please, avoid swearing in your author's notes, it's inappropriate for a K rated fic, even if it isn't part of the story.

Your idea is excellent -- Mary is an under-utilized character, and I find your development of HER character believable and appropriate. However, your development of those characters which already had established personalities is unbelievable at the very least. While Jane may try to convince Mary to marry Mr Fryar, using the arguments to be careful of her future, that she may find love comes in time, to please their father, etc., Lizzie would have railed against it at the first sign of Mary's resistance to the idea. Certainly, you have cast Mr Bennett in the undeserved role of a father looking only for an advantageous connection for his daughters, which he has NEVER exhibited any sign of whatsoever. If there was one inkling of this in his character, he would have at least ENCOURAGED Lizzie to consider Mr Collins. You have subverted so many characters and mangled Austen's story to the degree where I am shocked I'm still reading. The only thing I can attribute that to is the fact that your Kitty and your Mary are intriguing.

You need to slow down. You have an excellent premise here, but you're ruining it with what I can only believe is internalized anger and indignation. You need to stop and consider where you want your reader to be when they have finished your story, and get there by leading them, not pushing. Don't try for the period-appropriate language, consider the story first, then mold it to words appropriate to the time. Sometimes you seem to trip up over trying to use true Austenian language and forget the story line.

I don't mean to be discouraging, but despite my enjoyment of the premise, I've almost stopped reading several times because of missing words that change the meaning of a sentence, words used in the wrong context, and the wrong forms of words being used. Slow down. Tell the story, but EDIT it before sending it off to your betas, and if you don't already have one, try to find a beta who has been writing for a while and is AHEAD of you in experience. Think of a beta as a mentor and critic, not a cheering squad.

Excellent story, I loved it, its great to see Mary getting one up on her sisters! well done, keep on writing!

oh is that the end?!!

well i loved it. :D

O, this is one of the best stories ever focusing around Mary Bennet. Do you mind if I list it for you on Jaffindex . com? I think it would be great. Username is JaffReader and password is Universal. Tell me what you think... that way people would get to read it more... it's so good. I also think you should consider putting this up on the Derbyshire Writers Guild. Email me at lady . mage @ novicewriters . net (remove spaces) or any of the emails I have in my profile and I'll send you the links proper!

Again, wonderful story, and I await your reply!

Lady Mage

Oh, thankyou so much for this wonderful fiction.

I just love it, and I printed it in order to make my friend read it too...

Great job!

Yay for happy ending!! I'm glad Mr Bennet told his wife to behave, and with Jane and Lizzy helping, things probably went well that night. Most importantly, Frederic loves Mary.

This is very good!

lovely story, update soon! :)