Wonderful. Absolutely wonderful!!

I began playing Final Fantasy I as soon as it arrived in America. This also corresponds with my third birthday. Some of my first memories are of this game, and I could not ask for a better story rendition!

Excellent diction, fun and entertaining writing style, and a storyline that reaches out and grabs you by the ... appendages.

The references to other games from my childhood are fantastic, as is the David Eddings influence roaming throughout the storyline.

The romance progresses with a certain reality, the fight scenes are staccato and unpredictable, with surprises and dialogue syncing perfectly with the plot-basic original game.

I look forward to reading more!! Chrono Trigger's next, and I cannot wait!

ooh, real cool. The Fighter/Knight, the Thief/Ninja, the White Mage/White Wizard, and the Black Mage/Black Wizard. Classic, solid team. No Black Belt/Master or Red Mage/Red Wizard, not even a slight cameo (bit of a drag on that if you ask me), but still rather cool. Cool work with the Elements, too. Esecially hooking Fire up with Vlad, that was a bit of a shock (only up until during the fight. Once certain words were said, I guessed). Bikke and his pirate crew... that was the biggest surprise of all. Still, loads of fun.

-shifty eyes- What? Just because I've already done line-by-line on this doesn't mean I can't leave a review too! Don't judge me!

-wink- Just kidding. Anyway. This story is all kinds of win, m'friend. You've improved a great deal, and it definitely shows. You already know the details of what I think, so I won't go into all that again. I'll just applaud you for killing your SFX budget stone-dead, and say that, if nothing else, at least do something about that Chaos fight before you go on to your next story! -smirk-

Yeah, not a lot left for me to say. But, hey, it's one more review, and one can always use more reviews. -nods-

Um...hi. I just wanted to say you're a great author, and I count this story as one of my favorites (My other favorites are your Chrono Trigger and Breath of Fire Novels, as well as your Mega Man 5 Novel) I really like your stories (as you can probably tell) and I have high hopes for your Mega Man 7 novel. Afterwards...can you do Mother? There are so many Earthbound stories and novels, but almost none for Mother, and I think you could bring a lot of life into it.

Sorry about taking so long to review- I wanted to think of a few constructive things to say.

First thing that comes to mind is the excellent way you tied it all up, at the same time making allusions to the worlds to come after. Every world has its 'Chaos Knight'... but every world also has its 'Light Warriors'.

As expected, Chaos is the first big bad since the Class Change to kill any of the LWs, and the first to get several of them, making for an 'all seems lost' scene that could have gone on a bit longer IMO. Regarding the rest, I hate to say I agree with a prior reviewer that some of the battles were lacking a bit in 'oomph', through no fault of your own. By nature, any story with a lot of fighting in it loses some intensity when it's the same thing over and over. At least mixing up the many spells and attacks kept things fresh.

Personal favorite moments: Warmech chasing the LWs, Queen Shiva's final stand and freedom, and of course the final clincher- 'a mad clown capering amidst thousands of corpses. A one-winged devil who thought himself an angel.'

Good to see you're taking MM7 seriously, even if it means we might not see it until late summer. This may just be personal bias, but I've read all your posted stuff and found the MM novelizations to be superior, and the 7th incarnation has so much going on in it that it's bound to be a winner.

Excellent job overall.

Great ending to a great story.Like you I had the same job problems but now I'm new and improved (hopefully you are too.) Looking forward to the Megaman 7 story (my personal favorite megaman) and to answer your question, I think your comedy style is fine, just cut down with the popping up of things that have 100% no relavence (example: Like in your Chrono Trigger story, all the rushing in to watch anime at the end of time) and your fight scenes are good (tho there's nothing wrong with DBZ fights JACK@$$). After Megaman 7, I would ask that you make your next work one of the three following (in order I would like to see them most to least): Breath of Fire II, Link's Awakening, or Metroid Fusion (it IS the direct sequal to Super Metroid after all.) Looking forward to more of your works soon.

Wow. A great ending to a great story. I really liked the bits where you referred to the other Final Fantasy Universes. Very cool concept, and rather true when I think about it enough. I'm very much in agreement when it comes to character bashing. It's a bit silly to write of a character badly just because of one's personal opinions of the character.
I never really played the Final Fantasy Series, though I followed their stories very closely (I play Kingdom Hearts, but most people don't feel that that counts as playing FF hehe). So storywise I think this is great. There are some times when a character's or place's name was mispelled in a way that suggests bad timing for fingers on keyboad (I do that all the time, the only reason it doesn't show is that I have an impulsive habit to stray to the delete key XD), though that's easily understandable.
As for your fight scenes, they actually tend have emotion other than rage, defeat, or insane will to obliterate things, and that definitely puts you separate from DBZ among other things I could list, but don't have time to really think about. They bring about resolve in a character, especially in the fights agains the Fiends, and they gain strength from it. Same could be said for you other stories (Chrono Trigger comes to mind, and don't worry: I don't like Chrono Cross any more than you do. Good tuneage (sp?) though).
Finally, I acually really like your Author's Notes. They're creatively thought out, and fun to read, a good way to wrap up any story. =D
One last question for you before I leave though: was that part about Luke trying to swim with armor in anyway a reference to 8-Bit Theater? Either way it's funny, but just curious ; )

See you next time,

-Angie Prime

First off, congrats on finishing this story up. It was a great read overall. As to particular problems in your writing...The only problem that comes to mind is with the fight scenes. They are vivid enough and the action is all right but they dont seem...Like the people are in any actual danger. Its apparent that the fights are hard make no mistake but they dont seem to be threatened all that much. Granted they are heroes and they are used to the danger but they could show a little more, uh, fear perhaps or worry. Other wise they just trudge through with no real issues. Beyond that though your writing seems about fine to me, although you could show a little more character development especially in the fics that wont have direct sequels like this one.

And... it ends.

Giygas's line was made of awesome and win.

*sticks her tongue at some of the nobles*

Oh! Refs to the other FFs, sweet! :D

I liked the battles, and the romance was nice, I say you did a good job.

(even if the power ups in the last battle was a bit surprising and 'what the. o.o'.)

MM7, eh? Alright, Bass's time!

Wow. It's... ended.

Saddening, really.

I've read this novel from the beginning (to lazy to review) and I must say, It's probably the best FF1 fiction on the site.

The battles were pretty good - but not quite 'epic' enough for me. A bit short. I'd like to have seen the Light Warriors get there **-whooped more often, honestly. I think the fiends went down a little 'too' easy, especially in the Temple of Fiends. The battle with Chaos, lord of darkness and evil and whatnot, wasn't quite 'epic' enough for me. I guess I expecting some huge one chapter showdown between light and darkness, Chaos playing with their minds, probing their insecurities, until they were consumed in fear, broken - and then, they have some huge epiphany or some crap and each of them say some inspiring lines before destroying him in some "WE UNITE!" super attack exploding him into oblivion - but that's just me. Don't get me wrong, this story has much better fight scenes than most stories' half-assed ones. It just that they could've been better.

But the battles don't bother me to much, because of the plot, which you worked out quite nicely if I do say so myself, the dialogue and character developement. Very descriptive too. Overall, I loved the story, and think you should continue writing. Perhaps you can look into novelizing other FFs...


Ahem, I talk to much. (Crawls back into my corner.)

Although I've never played the original FF1, or admittingly LTTP, I have actually gone and read both. As a stand-alone pair of stories, I was kept into both despite never playing either.

The Megamans I have played for the most part and those have been quite good, much like the Megaman Xs made by Erico have been, adding elements I wish Capcom would've actually used in the games. I look forward to MM7 and how you decide to handle that one.

Onto my idea for the next "non-MM" fanfiction. It's a pair of choices between either EarthBound or Super Mario RPG myself. I lean more towards Super Mario RPG though because Earthbound actually does have a couple of complete fanfics based on it, while I've never found a complete Super Mario RPG story. I found one that got to Nimbus land but seemed to stop. Seeing how you handled CT's story[even if it was the oldest of the fics], I'd really like to see you hand SMRPG if it's possible. >.>;

Thank you for listening to this review. :P

Hey. Great story overall! Honestly, I had completely forgotten I had asked that question.

The only thing I feel I have a problem is the final battle. Like Derek Barona said, there was a lot of talking going on in it, and not a whole lot of actual fighting. Its kind of DBZ in that they'd go long periods of just staring and talking at each other (or the like) with little fighting. Granted, in your story, they were still fighting, but were yakking away at each other at the same time.

Also, it was a good touch with the later FF games, though some of them seem a bit off and all. I wouldn't exactly say that the FF X world is a bunch of islands, but the rest of it is true.

Anyway, I look forward to reading your Mega Man 7 novel, when it comes out and all. It'll be interesting seeing both Bass showing up (or are you going to go with Forte for the name?) as well as Rock's reaction to the events that happen.

That, and to see if the old Robot Grim Reaper's prediction comes true in the end for the blue guy...

Very nice closing boss. The final battle was quite clever (the joining with the elements especially) and the references to the other FF games was an interesting touch too. Sorry I can't be more critical, since I haven't played the game to comment on that level of detail...

I'll be looking forward to the return to the Mega Man realm. Bass always was a favorite of mine... Cya then boss.

~RED~

I'm gonna be mad if this review cuts out halfway like a few of mine have in the past. E-mail me for the full version if it does.

Another awesome story done, and another sad ending for me because I don't get to read any more of it. And before I go anywhere else with this review, I must state for the record.

Bikke originally had a grand three lines in the game. You took that and gave him a character rivalling Deis and Blind for Best Personality.

No amount of words or exclamation points can give justice to how much you win for that. I just can't do it. I'm sorry, but you're just too awesome for me.

Okay, now for the actual review. You really had your homework done for this game, between the places, people, heck, you even managed to note random enemies when needed. It flowed together really well, and there wasn't any sense of forced momentum between place to place, like you were just trying to move the plot along. The usual wit and sarcasm that any good story ought to have was there in full force, and I'm pretty sure I intend on using a few of these lines in the future. The fight scenes were believable without getting old, and when a point was reached that they could conceivably become repetitive, you solved the problem by just having them plow through and slaughter anything in the way. Speaking of fight scenes, the aerial battle at Sky Tower was pretty much the pinnacle of the lot. Bahamut at full power, Bikke and the Icarus, and I'm pretty sure you killed the SFX budget with the fight against the Warmech, and a few legal fees for ripping the best move to ever come from Skies of Arcadia. I couldn't stop laughing from sheer excitement as I watched, not read, but watched the whole battle unfold in front of me.

Now that I've hit on all the good stuff, though, it's time to discuss the not as good. Specifically, a few things that could have used work. Bahamut/Bikke vs The Warmech was pretty much the best fight in the story, yes, but that's the point. The fight with Tiamat was fitting for the situation, being a Fiend battle and half dialogue anyway. The Chaos Temple 20 fights with the Fiends as well. But the fight with Chaos became rather mediocre after he transformed. From that point on, when the Warriors did their own transformations, the entire fight became purely dialogue based, and the actual combat took a backseat to it. The speech was gripping and fitted the situation, yes, but this battle, unfortunately, wasn't like hitting a Wilyporter over and over until it blows up. Chaos was just getting started, and he basically stopped fighting just to engage in angry banter. Not wasn't exactly the most applaudable thing to do in a fight. His actual death was fitting, yes, but the lead-up to it wasn't that great. On that same note, you probably could have stood to go a bit more into detail about the gang's power ups. It wasn't really very well described, and I couldn't picture them doing it if I wanted to.

On another note, sadly, was the lack of balance the characters got in development. Vlad, understandably, got a lot of it leading up to Kary. Perfectly acceptable. Drake didn't really need a whole lot to begin with, and what he got was perfectly A-okay. Mary probably got a bit more than she needed, as both Kraken and the Castle of Ordeals made her think about her role in the fight, but after Kraken bit the dust, it didn't come back up again. But the one I'm looking at the most is poor Luke. Okay, he's the Fighter. He's in love with the princess. He's the leader, but he's dumb as a brick. Great starting material. He doesn't have to become a master scholar or read The Art Of War when in camp, but he didn't really progress past that starting point of being the group tank. Ordeals was the only time when he was given any actual credit for intelligence, and once again, they sorta forgot about it afterwards, though I admit the Lefeinish played off it in the right way. I'd like to say that it's to Tiamat's credit that she considered it beneath her to mess with him in any way, but it probably would have helped his character if she had. Also, something that bugged me a little was the lute. We see him practicing it once before he pulls it out at the Temple, and that's it. There's absolutely no mention of the thing otherwise. I mean, yeah, that's what the thing did in the game, it sat in your pack and did nothing until the very end, but come on. Bikke, three lines. You could have done SOMETHING with it.

My personal grievances aside, however, it was an excellent story, one of your better ones yet, I would say, and I'm looking forward to MM7, because I want to see what you can REALLY do with Bass. Also, since you so enjoyed making references to the other FF games, if you ever intend on doing another one, I would recommend Final Fantasy 4, for reasons related to the ease and fun you could have with it as the writer, and the fact it's my favorite FF and I really think you'd do it justice.

Time to bring this review to a close, then. See you at the next Rebellion!

...Wow. This review almost looks bigger than the Prologue was, from here.

I do believe i see a Skies of Arcadia ripoff (Moonstone Cannon and Harpoon Cannon) Good to see Mega-Flare again. And the warmech had a beam saber? I couldn't tell. I killed it too fast. (Flare+Sabered,Tempered,Ultima Weapon at Full Health+Sabered,Tempered, Kantana+Holy. Then Another Flare. All characters near max stats and level MAX)