wow this is great i cant wait to see more

Ya know kid you got a good idea but there is some things you need to work on. For instance, you need to work on your sentence structures, punctuation, and grammer. A little more description would be nice too. Keep up the good idea though kid and maybe you'll see better results.

Whoa, whoa, please, kid use some periods!

Holy crap, if you are old enough to be using this site you are old enough to know how to use a period properly. For crying out loud.

Maybe this was a rush job, I don't know, but your writing could really benefit from some grammar/spelling checks. There is (was?) a link to a decent word processor somewhere on this site if you don't have Microsoft Word, other than that, keep at it, I'll keep an eye on this one.

wow i cant wait to see more